Please don't feed PickleMan
Please don't feed PickleMan
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Sometimes when you're watching a horror movie, particularly when you're watching a bad one, you start to notice little things about the film: a misplaced character in the background, an odd fact in a "scientific" explanation for something, or more often, the run-time printed on the back cover of the DVD. I was observing the latter while checking out an occidental turd called Gargoyle: Wings Of Darkness when an interesting scene began to unfold...

Ok, "interesting" wasn't exactly the word I was looking for, but stay with me: the protagonists are trying to figure out where all these missing people are going, and that is getting really dull, so the movie cuts away to load up some more monster fodder.

So he likes taking boys to the carnival, sounds innocent to me.

It's nighttime, and a man has decided to take his squadron of boys to the carnival. First off, there were two weird things about this: despite the events of the movie being set and filmed in Romania, this is the only scene with anyone speaking Romanian (let alone anything other than American English), and for some reason, the man and his kids are dressed like they just came from a wedding reception. Who the hell puts on a sport coat to go to the carnival, apart from the ringmaster?

Anyway, what's coming up is so obvious that even the characters in the movie start to suspect that trouble is afoot.

Ferris Wheels are ALWAYS safe.

All the kids want to ride the rickety Ferris wheel, except for one. While the other kids are jabbering on in Romanian, he just looks up at the thing. The man finally relents and starts passing out tickets and shooing the kids over to the ride, but this kid won't go. He protests, possibly stating that he doesn't trust carny engineering, but the man isn't about to be contradicted by a wee lad. The kid won't ride it on his own accord, and so the man drags him on and rides with him.


Aw, that's such a nice father/son moment. I assume they're father and son. Whatever they are, as soon as they're on the ride, the kid starts yelling in fear, and so the "dad" takes a few swigs from his flask and starts mocking the kid's whining.

Don't drink and ride!

Ha ha, oh, drunk Romanian slob. You are such a character! He's so involved with his drinking and mocking that doesn't notice that the kid's whining drops off when the car stalls at the top of the Ferris wheel. The kid tries to point out something unusual heading toward them, but, well...


The carny operating the ride hears the ruckus coming from the cart, and so he brings the car back down to the landing to see what's up.

I didn't do it!

The kid just sits there, shaking his head and mumbling incoherently. The look on his face is priceless. How did that kid not get even a nod from the Academy?

This is the dance I do to get the boys to come to the carnival with me.

Questions? Comments?
Email Dr. Boogie


You found Scary-Ass Trading Card #10!
*copy this URL down, you'll need it once you've found all 19 cards!*

Directed by Leslie Stevens, the creator of "The Outer Limits", shot by Conrad hall, three-time academy award winning cinematographer, and starring a pre-Kirk William Shatner, this bizarre, creepy black and white horror flick has been seen by... just about no one. Why? Could be the fact that all the dialogue in Incubus is in Esperanto, a constructed international auxiliary language created by linguist created by L. L. Zamenhof in 1887 as a universal second language to foster peace and international understanding.

Find all 19 Series II "Scary-Ass Trading Cards" this September and October (2007) and you'll not only get a special secret final 20th card emailed to you, but you'll automatically be entered to win a Halloween prize pack from I-Mockery! Cards will be placed in random new I-Mockery articles during the months of September and October. Simply copy the URLs of each card down into a text file whenever you find them.

Once you have collected the URLs of all the cards, simply email them to webmaster@i-mockery.com with the subject line "I-Mockery's Scary-Ass Trading Cards!" and you will have the special 20th card emailed to you and you'll be entered to win a Halloween prize pack which may include masks, DVDs and more! Remember, the cards MUST say "Series II" on them or they will not be counted.

Do NOT email the actual card graphics to us. We only want you to email us the URLs of all the cards which you can find directly underneath them.

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a horrible night indeed! :o