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Piranha is one of
the earlier horror movies I was ever allowed to see. I remember
wandering into the local video store with my father one night and
seeing this badass looking VHS box. At first he was a bit hesitant,
but I reminded him that I had already seen "JAWS" and made the
argument that this was probably another movie just like that, so he
let me rent it. The artwork had me convinced that this movie would be
about mutant Piranhas that were larger than humans, and while that
turned out to not be the case, it was still a damned entertaining
movie. How could it not be when horror talents like Roger Corman,
Joe Dante and John Sayles were behind it?
While they weren't
trying to be too over-the-top with the cheesiness of this horror
flick, the creators weren't shy about hiding the fact that their movie
was both a response and an homage to Jaws. To help drive this point
home, the first scene after the title credits role has the leading
actress (Heather Menzies) playing the Jaws video game for a solid
minute.
So the basic plot of the
movie is that Dr. Robert Hoak (Kevin McCarthy - aka: R.J. Fletcher
from "UHF") was hired by the U.S. Army to create a special breed of
piranha that not only breed at an incredibly fast rate, but can
survive in cold water and saltwater. It was called Operation:
Razorteeth. So, when two backpacking teens are missing (because
they were eaten), a private investigator comes to the old army test
site and drains the pool in hopes of finding their bodies. Little does
she know that she just let these deadly piranha escape into the river
which is connected to a a local resort. From here, it's just a feast
for the fish.
One of the best things
about this movie is of course the complete lack of CGI and the
presence of awesome piranha models. While they move extremely fast in
the movie, you can see from this test shot above just how evil they
were made to look. Real piranha are scary enough, but these mutant
piranha look like they were genetically spliced with one of the
CHUD
monsters. I really need to take this footage and have the two piranhas
telling each other bad jokes sometime. Remember folks, you can't
spell "Piranha" without the "HA"!
While the movie has
plenty of memorable piranha attack scenes, including an attack on a
bunch of kids at summer camp, the one scene that always stuck out in
my mind more than any other was the one on Jack (Keenan Wynn).
Jack is an old man who's
just enjoying the golden years of his life by hanging out with his dog
Brandy, having a drink and enjoying the river. "I've got the river.
It wakes me up in the morning, gives me a bath, does my laundry, gives
me dinner, puts me to sleep real gentle." He's just a nice old
dude who you'd like to hear tell a story or two about the good ol'
days. Unfortunately for him, the piranha that have just escaped to his
river are coming right for him... and they're not interested in his
stories.
He sits on the
disheveled dock by his house with his feet in the water, trying to
catch some fish as he tells his dog a story, when the piranha come
right up to his feet for a bite. Jack screams while the dog barks its
head off at the bubbling bloody water down below. Now, if any sane
person got bit by a piranha, they'd instantly pull their feet out of
the water, but not Jack. No, he just sits there screaming in agony as
the piranha enjoy a mid-afternoon foot snack. I should mention that
the piranha make an absolutely
fantastic sound
whenever they attack.
A little later on,
Jack's body is found a little closer to his house. Turns out that he
dragged himself towards the house, but keeled over due to the blood
loss. As you can see, his feet and ankles were gnawed right down to
the bone. While it's a lil' sad to see the nice old guy go, especially
since the lead character, Paul Grogan, is a drunken asshole who I
always wanted to see get killed (along with the pushy camp counselor),
it's a great death scene both for the gore and for the absurdity of it
all. I mean really, piranha are fast eaters, but he still could've
taken his feet out before they were stripped of all flesh. But that's
one of the things that makes the film so much fun... it's cheesy, but
not too cheesy to where the humor feels forced, and there's plenty of
great kills for all you gorehounds out there.
All in all, Piranha is a
great flick for fans of killer creatures in the water, and it's among
the best tributes to JAWS you'll ever come across. The lengthy attack
on the Lost River Lake Resort towards the end of the film is
definitely not to be missed. I highly recommend picking up the 20th
Anniversary "Special Edition" DVD of this flick because you'll get to
see all sorts of great footage - including the piranha models being
tested in the water as they tear the flesh right off the limbs of some
prop dummies.
Besides, if this extra
from the DVD doesn't make you want to see more of Piranha...
...then nothing will.
Questions? Comments?
Email -RoG-
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