For those of you who
haven't heard of the movie, Versus, it's another Japanese cult
film, not unlike
Story of Ricky. Instead of people beating each other in a
prison, however, Versus is a movie about people beating each other in
the forest. Moreover, it's about zombies and people beating each other
in the forest. Beyond that, I couldn't tell you much about the plot,
as very little attention is given to the story, to the point where
none of the characters are even named in the film, apart from the hero
("Prisoner KSC2-303"), the bad guy ("the Man"), and the girl ("the
Girl"). I imagine it must be hard to audition for a part in a movie,
and have to tell the casting director, "oh yeah, I was in Versus. I
played ‘crazy yakuza with amulet.'" Putting aside the plight of the
bit players, the movie also had a few funny moments.
Here, the bad guy (aka,
the Man) is looking around for the zombie he sent to stop the hero and
kidnap the girl. Normally, you wouldn't trust such a sensitive mission
to a zombie, but his zombies are all experts of the martial arts.
Not masters, mind you,
just experts. The zombie does beat on the hero for a while, but then
the hero hits him in the head with a rock. That's neither here nor
there, however. Right now, the bad guy is a bit put off that his
red-haired underling (who goes by "red-haired assassin," according to
IMDB) has failed in his task, especially since he was able to haul
himself out of the creek so easily. He goes over for a debriefing.
I didn't think that
zombies could be knocked out, but then again, I didn't think that they
sulked when they screwed up either. Nevertheless, the bad guy wants
his zombie to buck up, and remarks, "It's almost time." Time for what?
A secret ritual? A pre-victory barbeque? I don't know. Apparently, it
was also time for this:
He punches right through
the zombie's head. Quite an impressive show of force, but after
putting his arm up to the elbow into zombie brains, he has another
He pulls his arm back
out to examine his handiwork. Wouldn't you? I mean, there have been a
few people out there that can punch right through other people, but
they're always so blasé about it, like it's an everyday occurrence for
them. Well it might be, but I'll bet that the first couple of times
that they did it, they took a look, maybe because they lost a ring in
there, or something. Anyway, the puncher notices that he's got
something stuck on his hand.
He must be new at this.
The pros never get eyeballs stuck to their fingers like that. With a
little practice, though, he should be making relatively clean holes in
his subordinates in no time.
Email Dr. Boogie
back to previous page