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I recently did a feature
on the so-so
game
based off of the Warlock movies (the good ones, anyways), and so it
seemed only fitting to show off one of the movies upon which it was
based. Warlock: The Armageddon is the sequel that sees the
Warlock trying to gather upon magic runestones so as to summon the
devil, blah blah blah. The bottom line is that aside from the
wonderfully-evil Julian Sands, there are plenty of other things to see
in the movie. Indeed, it's difficult to pick just one moment to
feature here, but here's one that made me chuckle:
At the beginning of the
film, the Warlock is spawned by the woman who possessed the first
stone (a sight to behold, but too long for a standard horror moment),
and Satan is kind enough to provide him with a map to the rest of the
stones. A map made from the woman's stomach skin. Unfortunately, Satan
isn't much of a tanner, and the map eventually dries out and becomes
illegible.
To remedy this, the
Warlock picks up a hitchhiker: Celine, a trashy-looking hobag. Having
just recently been kicked out of the last car she was riding in, she
lays it on thick trying to work the ol' sex appeal on the Warlock.
Double entendres, coy smiles, the works. She even tries to cope a
feel, but the Warlock slaps her hand away.
Rejected, she grabs her
pocket mirror and tries to clean herself up. She promises the Warlock
that once she does, he'll see that it was worth the wait. He is not
amused. At that point, she starts ranting about how her hair looks,
and how she can't see it in her tiny mirror, and let me tell you, even
the Warlock has his limits for nagging. When she finally asks him,
"how does it look"...
RRRRRIIIIIIIP!
He scalps her with one
hand and tosses her hair back to her, quipping "here, see for
yourself." She does, and once the initial shock wears off, she starts
screaming. At that point, he tosses her out of the car and uses her
bloody scalp to revitalize his map:
Pure dynamite. I've got
to say, that was quite an impressive feat, ripping out all of her hair
in one pull. He is most assuredly Satan's kid.
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