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The Three Storms!versusBritney Spears
by: -RoG-

Surely you have all seen one of the great martial arts / action films of all time:

But did you ever wonder what the Three Storms have been up to now that they're not acting in great movies like that anymore? Well, they've decided to take on all of the evils of the world.
And they're destroying each evil, one at a time, starting with Britney Spears!
That being said, allow me to refresh your memory on these three martial arts madmen!

Rain. Thunder. Lightning.

  • RAIN : The "pretty boy" of the group. But don't let his good looks and long hair deceive you. Rain can jump 20 feet in the air and cut you in half with his swords in a split second!

  • THUNDER : The guy with the bad temper. Thunder is always angry at something and he tends to take out his anger on one of two things: 1) people or 2) furniture. He's always yelling and he seems to have digestion problems which cause him to explode.

  • LIGHTNING : The show-off of the group. Lightning knows he kicks ass and he flaunts it by shooting electricity bolts all over the place. The kids love watching this guy in action, he puts any light show at a rock concert to shame!

Ok, now that we're all familiar with this trio of terror, we must ask one simply question.
WHICH ONE WILL DESTROY BRITNEY SPEARS? Fortunately, we took photos of the entire
bloody battle and in the end, we're happy to say that Good has triumphed over Evil!
So onto the battle...

"I offer you this pretty red nerf ball!"
As you can see, Rain was distracted by the big show that Britney Spears put on.
In particular, her male dancers. Rain just knew he could "dance up a storm" much
better than any of them could. So he offered Britney a nerf ball in exchange for a job.
He was crushed when she turned him down. Last we heard, Rain retreated into the
mountains and has been practicing his dancing skills ferociously ever since.

I need Ex-Lax! Please!
As stated earlier, Thunder has severe digestive/constipation problems. 
Possibly he has swallowed too much anger. It's hard to say...
Either way, he was unable to fight Britney due to a doctor's appointment.
Word is the enema went very well and he is at home recovering in bed.

"I am Stronger!"
After having avoided being killed by two of the Three Storms, Britney Spears
was feeling pretty cocky. So to brag to all, she wrote a song entitled, "Stronger".
Too bad for her, there was one Storm that would NOT tolerate such insolence.

That's right, LIGHTNING wasn't about to take any crap from some stupid pop-star slut.
So he put on his trusty hat (you gotta look good when yer kickin ass) and let out his rage!

"I Am Str......AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!"
Ouch, that's gotta hurt! Britney had no idea what hit her!

"Holy shit Tyrone! He done burned up Britney like a chicken wing!"
""Holy shit Tyrone! He done burned up Britney like a chicken wing!"
"Stronger my ass..."
Yep, when Lightning was done with her, Britney was nothing more than a
pile of ash that he stomped into the ground. Her dancers were in total dismay,
so they ran into the mountains to find Rain in hopes of making sweet love to him.

So in the end, the evil that was Britney Spears was destroyed
and our hero, LIGHTNING, has saved us all from her wretched music
and her slutty ways forever. Thank you Lightning... THANK YOU!


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