There's only
one thing that brings a tear to my eye in this world, and it is the Rotato.
Yes the Rotato was an ingenious invention which allowed you to peel your
potatoes with ease with the simple turn of a crank. Just imagine how the
lives of countless soldiers would've been improved if only they had the
Rotato during their potato-peeling sessions. Sadly, like most "As Seen On
TV" products, the Rotato has been reduced to making public appearances
only in yard sales. But don't fret Rotato... I still love you.
Good ol'
Xmas decorations... you can always find 'em at yard sales just like we
found them at the "45-family yard sale" from last year. Fake trees,
scented candles, "peace on earth" ornaments, assorted lights and tree
stands... if you're in need these things, look no further than your
neighborhood yard sales.
Proto's been
pretty depressed lately about his car needing all sorts of repairs, thus
quickly draining his bank account. That is, he was depressed until I found
him an alternate means of transportation. Look at what a big boy he is,
what with the training wheels removed 'n all!
Awesome. Now
this was one of the more exciting finds of the day... a box filled with
assorted key chains. And the deal? You could get ten key chains for 25
cents! I went through the box and pulled out some great finds: A miniature
hammer, a rainbow with a pot of gold, a Niagara Falls one, a Korea one, an
Okinawa one (hey, I'm a fan of the Karate Kid movies what can I say), an
arrowhead, a Miami Vice one, two Hershey's chocolate syrup ones and then
there was the ULTIMATE keychain find...
Wait
for it...
Wait
for it...
Wait
for it...
Wait
for it...
Wait
for it...
Wait
for it...
Wait
for it...
Wait
for it...
YES!
A goddamned
"BEAT THE THIRSTIES WITH KOOL AID" key chain! This item alone made
the entire day worth it for me. I would've paid up to 5 bux for that
thing, and here I was getting it for a mere 25 cents!?? "OH YEAH!"
Only at a yard sale my friends... only at a yard sale.
Many board
games including "Operation," which was missing half of the pieces
including the "funny bone", were seen so far... but oddly enough, I still
hadn't found a copy of "Mouse Trap" which seems to be at almost
every yard sale I've ever been to. But we still had more yards to scavenge
through, so hopefully we'd find it soon enough.
You know
those "wicked awesome!" lights you saw at Spencer's in the mall? Yeah,
well don't go spending 20 bux on 'em... because they go for about a buck
at yard sales.
SAY
KIDS! GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS???
THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S...
Ok, well
this year's "wacky hat time" wasn't nearly impressive as the one from last
year. In fact, this was the only hat that we found the entire day. Still,
you've gotta admit, I put J-Lo to shame.
Eugh, more
ancient computers that can't possibly work anymore. This one had a huge
crack in the side of the case, so you know it was handled with care. And
let's not forget that CGA monitor... why it looks almost as good as the
display on your calculator! The simple fact of the matter is, when
computers die, they get buried in yard sales.
What yard
sale would be complete without multiple finds of really bad music? This
yard sale was no exception, for we found not one but a stack of
Raffi albums! Yes, with albums such as "Rise and Shine", "The
Corner Grocery Store", and "Bananaphone"... you're sure to put all the
ladies in the mood in no time! Move over Barry White, for Raffi has
arrived!
Now these
are always fun; the yard sales where people have way more crap than they
know what to do with so they just chuck it all out on their lawn and hope
somebody will be interested in it. Some decent VHS tapes, but unless it's
something that doesn't exist on DVD, I don't bother buying VHS tapes
anymore... they just take up too much space. But check this out...
Why is it
that you never seem to find fully-clothed Barbie dolls at yard sales? I'm
not saying I'm looking for a Barbie or anything, but jeez... it's a bit
creepy when there's just a pile of naked dolls for sale. Kinda makes you
wonder what the people were doing with 'em in the first place, ya know?
We also
found a wide assortment of generic toys, including some giant pseudo-Voltron
robot thing that had a built-in crane machine. Still, out of everything in
this particular yard, I have to say that the angry severed Hulk head was
the most amusing find. Just look at his face... it's as if he's screaming,
"WHERE HULK BODY IS??? RAAAAAR!!!" Easily my favorite photo of the
day. Then things took a turn for the worse...
I couldn't
believe it when I saw it; someone was actually selling a used training
toilet. That's right, some little kid learned to piss 'n shit on this
thing... and these people still had the nerve to sell it. Some little kid
splattered his Gerber-scented diarrhea all over the insides of this
thing... and these people still had the nerve to sell it. Amazing.
Fore! Looks
like somebody spent quite a bit o' time on the greens, because they were
selling a shitload of golf balls. Not only that, but they had them broken
down into categories. You had your new golf balls which were $5.00 per
dozen, you had your used golf balls that were still in pretty good
condition which were $3.00 per dozen, and you had your used golf balls
that were in extremely shitty condition—half of which were likely stolen
from the local miniature golf course. Gotta love the how they spelled
"pick" wrong on the "You Pik" signs. And you thought golf was a sport for
the well-educated...
Alrighty!
From the makers of "Slip 'N Slide" comes another ingenious creation.
That's right, we found a genuine "Wham-O Water Jump Rope" still in
the box! Of course, kids normally ended up turning it into a makeshift
"Water Whip" rather than a jump rope, but the point is you still got wet
with it either way. Even if your back did end up with more scars than a
slave, you still always had a great time.
At the last
yard we found some more ancient stereo system relics, cordless phones, and
another casio keyboard. But we also found a bent light-up purple wall
spider. Of course, when we plugged it in, half of the lights were burnt
out... big shocker there. Funny thing is, they were still trying to sell
it for 3 bux.
Much to my
surprise we didn't find the "Mouse Trap" board game, which is the
one thing I always seem to find at yard sales. Then again, this
yard sale was closer to 30 families than the 50+ they had advertised. Ah
well, at least we finally found Protoclown an item that he had been
looking for his entire life...
