COUNT POP:
SAY! THIS HAS BEEN A GREAT PARTY SO FAR, BUT IT WOULD BE GREATER IF MY
FRANKEN-FRIEND WAS HERE TOO! I SHOULD GIVE HIM A CALL AND SEE HOW HE'S
DOING!
FRANKEN POP:
RISE! RISE MY JIFFIES! RISE SO THAT YOU MIGHT LIVE ONCE AGAIN! YOU'RE
GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER TO BEING READY! *RING*
*RING* NOW WHO COULD THAT BE CALLING ME AT THIS HOUR!?
COUNT POP:
FRANKSTER! HAPPY BIHALLOWEENAY!
FRANKEN POP:
HEY! COUNT POP! GOOD TO HEAR FROM YA! WAIT, HAPPY BIHALLOWHAT?
COUNT POP:
HAPPY BIHALLOWEENAY!
FRANKEN POP:
UM, OK, THANKS... SAME TO YOU! SO ANYWAY, I'M HERE MAKING SOME JIFFY POP
POPCORN AND I WAS GONNA EAT IT SOON BECAUSE I—
COUNT POP:
YOU REALLY SHOULD BE HERE AT MY BIG HALLOWEEN HOOTENANNY HULLABALOO PARTY!
IT'S THE BESTEST OF TIMES AND THAT'S NO CRIME!
FRANKEN POP:
HEH... YEAH... I WISH I COULD'VE BEEN THERE, BUT THEY WOULDN'T LET ME
THROUGH THE AIRPORT SECURITY ON ACCOUNT OF MY—
COUNT POP:
EVERYBODY HAS JUST BEEN HAVING A BOOGIE-BLAST ALL DAY LONG! THERE'S JUST
SO MUCH GOING ON AT THIS PARTY IT'S LIKE A CARNIVAL OF CONFETTI EXPLODING
IN YOUR CRANIUM IN A BIG BALL OF JUBILANCE AND JUJU BEES!
FRANKEN POP:
MAN, NOW I REALLY WISH I COULD BE THERE. IT'S REALLY BEEN KIND OF LONELY
OUT HERE AND I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT—
COUNT POP:
WHAT? WHAT WAS THAT YOU WERE SAYING? SORRY! I WAS JUST LOOKING AT ALL
THESE AMAZING DECORATIONS! IT'S TRULY A SIGHT, BUT UNFORTUNATELY YOU CAN'T
SEE THROUGH YOUR PHONE. UNLESS IT'S A MAGIC PHONE! IS YOUR PHONE A MAGIC
PHONE?
FRANKEN POP:
NO, BUT I—
COUNT POP:
TOO BAD! THIS IS LIKE STARING INTO THE SUN AND SEEING THE BIG BOPPER
RIDING HIS ROCKET-POWERED POGOSTICK ON A WAVE OF MAGMA AND SPRINKLES! OH
HERE! LET ME PUT POP BRIDE ON THE PHONE!
POP BRIDE:
HEY FRANKY! WHY AREN'T YOU HERE?
FRANKEN POP:
HEY POP BRIDE! I COULDN'T COME BECAUSE THE AIRPORT PEOPLE SAID I—
POP BRIDE:
DID COUNT POP REPLACE YOU OR SOMETHING? I ONLY ASK BECAUSE HE'S GOT THIS
HAIRY NEW "WEREWOLF POP" FRIEND AND... WELL, HERE, LEMME PUT HIM ON!
FRANKEN POP:
NO WAIT!
WEREWOLF POP:
MEAN GREEN MACHINE! IT'S BEEN A LOOOOONG TIME! OH WAIT, THAT'S BECAUSE
WE'VE NEVER MET! SO WHY ARE YOU GREEN ANYWAY? IS IT BECAUSE OF ENVY?
FRANKEN POP:
WHAT? NO! I'M A MONST—
WEREWOLF POP:
SORRY THERE JOLLY GREEN GIANT, I GOTTA RUN! COUNT POP SAYS HE NEEDS THE
PHONE BECAUSE HE'S EXPECTING A CALL.
FRANKEN POP:
OK BUT, JUST FOR THE RECORD, I'M—
COUNT POP:
HEY, HEY, HEY! ALRIGHT MY MAN, I GOTTA GO BOOGIE DOWN WITH MY MONSTER
BUDDIES OVER HERE! WHOOPS! MY CALL WAITING JUST BEEPED, THAT MUST MEAN THE
PIZZA GUY IS HERE WITH THE MOST DELICIOUS PIE IN THE WORLD! HAVE A GROOVIN'
HOLIDAY AND REMEMBER THAT THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE!
ACTUALLY, I'M ON THE OTHER SIDE... OF THE COUNTRY, AND I DON'T KNOW ABOUT
THE GRASS, BUT THE PIZZA SURE IS TASTY! TALK TO YOU ON THE FLIPSIDE,
FRANKSTER! *CLICK*
FRANKEN POP:
NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE YOU! I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO YOU GUYS BRAG THIS
ENTIRE PHONE CALL ABOUT ALL THE FUN YOU'VE BEEN HAVING AT YOUR PARTY WHILE
I'M STUCK HERE ALL BY MYSELF! THIS IS A LOAD OF CRAP! WHAT ABOUT MY
FEELINGS HUH!?
FRANKEN POP:
PLEASE DON'T BE BURNED, PLEASE DON'T BE BURNED, PLEASE DON'T BE BURNED,
PLEASE DON'T BE BURNED, PLEASE DON'T BE BURNED!
FRANKEN POP:
...
FRANKEN POP:
...
FRANKEN POP:
...
FRANKEN POP:
...
FRANKEN POP:
...
FRANKEN POP:
...
FRANKEN POP:
...
COUNT POP:
IT'S PIZZA TIME AND I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT BECAUSE IT SAYS "PIZZA O'CLOCK"
RIGHT ON MY WATCH. I KNOW IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE I'M WEARING A WATCH, BUT
THAT'S BECAUSE I KEEP IT WAY UP MY SLEEVES, JUST LIKE MY TRICKS AND ALL
THOSE OTHER THINGS I MENTIONED BEFORE!
FREDDY
"PIZZA GUY" KRUEGER:
HI THERE, I'VE GOT A LARGE "SPECIALTY" PIZZA FOR A MR. COUNT POP?
COUNT POP:
THAT'S ME!
FREDDY
"PIZZA GUY" KRUEGER:
OK, THAT'LL BE 25 BUCKAROONIES, NOT INCLUDING THE TIP!
COUNT POP:
IT'S A STEAL IF YOU ASK ME BECAUSE I HEAR YOU MAKE THE BEST PIZZA ON
EARTH, RIGHT SAID FRED!
FREDDY
"PIZZA GUY" KRUEGER:
OH YEAH, MY SPECIALTY PIZZAS ARE UNLIKE ANY OTHER, YOU CAN COUNT ON THAT!
COUNT POP:
I'M COUNTING AND I'VE ALREADY REACHED 100! 100 THANKS FOR THE PIE THAT IS!
CATCH YA LATER FRED, AND REMEMBER, DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE BECAUSE THAT
AIN'T NO JUMPIN' JIVE!
COUNT POP:
WHO'S READY FOR THE PARTY PIZZA!!!
POP BRIDE: PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA!
WEREWOLF POP:
YES! FINALLY SOME GOOD NEWS!
COUNT POP:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
POP BRIDE:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
WEREWOLF
POP:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
PIZZA:
PLEASE! OH GOD! PLEASE DON'T EAT ME! OH GOD! OH GOD! WHY! WHY DID YOU MAKE
ME A DELICIOUS PIZZA! A DELICIOUS PIZZA JUST GLISTENING WITH PIZZALICIOUS
JUICES THAT MAKE MOST MONSTERS SALIVATE UNCONTROLLABLY? PLEEEASE DON'T EAT
ME!!!
WEREWOLF
POP:
FACE OR NO FACE, I'M STARVING! LET'S DIG IN!
POP BRIDE:
YEAH, MY STOMACH IS EATING ITSELF. IT'S TIME FOR A FACE-OFF WITH THE
PIZZA!
COUNT POP:
SORRY MISTER PIZZA, BUT I ORDERED SOME PIZZA FOR THIS POPTASTIC PARTY AND I
PAID GOOD MONEY FOR IT TOO! FREDDY ISN'T CHEAP YA KNOW, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE HE
ONLY USES THE ABSOLUTE FINEST INGREDIENTS... LIKE YOUR FACE! BUT CHEER UP
MY CHEESY FRIEND!
IF YOU THINK LIFE IN THIS WORLD IS BOPPIN' LIKE A BOOGIE BOARD IN BOLIVIA, WAIT 'TIL YOU EXPERIENCE THE
24/7 ROCK 'N ROLL RODEO EXPERIENCE WAY DOWN IN MY SKEDADDLIN' STOMACH!
COUNT POP:
AND SPEAKING OF ROCK 'N ROLL, IT'S TIME FOR THE BEST PART OF THIS PARTY!
THE HALLOWEEN DANCE! WHADDAYA SAY?
WEREWOLF POP:
BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DANCE! I JUST WANT TO EAT MY PIZZA IN PEACE!
COUNT POP:
I'LL TEACH YOU TO FLOAT ON AIR WITH THE GROOVES OF YOUR WEREWOLF HAIR!
POP BRIDE: I'LL SIT BACK AND FILM IT SO I CAN
PUT YOU GUYS UP ON THE YOOTOOBS!
COUNT POP:
YOU HEAR THAT WEREWOLF POP!? SHE CAN GET US UP ON THE YOOTOOBS! SHE MUST
HAVE SOME SERIOUS CONNECTIONS! NOT EVERYBODY CAN GET ON THE YOOTOOBS! I
CAN'T EVEN BUY THOSE DELICIOUSLY CHOCOLATEY YOO-HOO DRINKS WITHOUT SHOWING
TEN FORMS OF I.D. INCLUDING A RETINAL SCAN!
WEREWOLF POP:
OKAY, YEAH, THAT IS PRETTY DARNED IMPRESSIVE! I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY WITH
YOOTOOBS CONNECTIONS! LET'S DO IT!
COUNT POP:
RIGHT ON, DADDIO!
HAPPY
BIHALLOWEENAY
ALL OF OUR I-MOCKERY PALS!
Questions or comments about this article?
Email -RoG-
Special
thanks to Fright
Catalog for some of
Count Pop's Halloween toys and decorations!
