Is it the Halloween season already? It must be, because I can't think of any other explanation as to why a bunch of zombies are eating my guts as I type this. Last year, myself and the other I-Mockery staff members brought you our wildest Halloween "Select Your Destiny" story to date, "You Are Hosting A Monster Party". It was over 60 pages of pure Halloweeny madness, as we each traded off on writing various pages. This year, we're doing it again... only this time I kept all of the staff members imprisoned in 5x5 suspended bamboo cages and sustained their lives by feeding them rotten fish heads all year long. Why did I do this? Because I wanted them all to be in the right mindset so that they could work with me to make this year's Halloween Select Your Destiny book our best one yet! Sure, you might be thinking, "RoG, isn't that a little harsh? Couldn't you have just given them a good 'pep talk' or something?" My only response to that is... trust me. You'll be glad I pushed these poor bastards over the edge once you've read our latest story.
As always, please allow me to give you a quick refresher on how these "Select Your Destiny" things work. YOU get to determine what happens to your character in the story. So if you chose to have your character open the door that said "Enter here to have fun watching the tonight show with Jay Leno" and it ends up killing you, it's you're owned damned fault. You should have already known that it's impossible to have fun watching Jay Leno. You might also want to check out my first online "Select Your Destiny" book. If you've already read that one, or you just don't feel like reading the older books books... fine. Kiss my ass. See if I care. You can also read my second "Select Your Destiny", which is all about Halloween and the joys of Trick or Treating, or last year's collaborative I-Mockery staff effort "You Are Hosting A Monster Party".
Ok, I'm ready to start writing and I know the other staff members are anxious to be released from their cages, so let's move onward to our latest Halloween-oriented "Select Your Destiny":