Please don't feed PickleMan
Please don't feed PickleMan
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Select Your Destiny: I-MOCKERY STYLE!

Well, well, well... look what time of year it is. I smell the stench of rotting corpses digging their way out of their graves. Or perhaps that's just the smell of some kid who gorged on too much Halloween candy and yacked it up wafting through the air. Either way, one thing is for sure: Halloween is upon us once again! Last year, myself and the other I-Mockery staff members brought you another Halloween "Select Your Destiny" story, "The Hunt for the Haunted Treasure!" It was a massive project that ending up being over 100 pages long! Hopefully this year's story will be just as entertaining if not more so!

For those of you who are unacquainted with these stories, allow me to give you a quick refresher on how these "Select Your Destiny" things work. YOU get to determine what happens to your character in the story. So if you chose to have your character "pick up that rockin' CD by Kelly Osbourne" and it ends up killing you, it's your own damned fault. You should have already known that Kelly Osbourne does not rock. Not even a little bit. You might also want to check out my first online "Select Your Destiny" book, which also provides a little bit of history on the series started by Edward Packard. If you've already read that one, or you just don't feel like reading any of the older books... fine. Kiss my ass. See if I care. You can also read my second "Select Your Destiny", which is all about Halloween and the joys of Trick or Treating, or the first I-Mockery staff collaborative effort "You Are Hosting A Monster Party", and of course last year's massive "The Hunt for the Haunted Treasure!"

This year, we're back again with a brand new tale of epic proportions that will surely keep you awake at night wondering if you're about to be hacked apart by some homicidal maniac should you fall asleep. And believe me, we want you to feel that way. We want you to feel that way so badly that we've actually hired real homicidal maniacs to visit the homes of random I-Mockery readers. Are you on their soon-to-be-victims list? Guess you'll have to wait and find out. But while you're up all night waiting to see if our homicidal homeys show up at your house, you might as well kill some time by reading our latest "Select Your Destiny" Halloween masterpiece...