Here's the "Cement your leadership by ordering everybody around" answer text. There's a link to a picture in there somewhere.

"Who died and made you our leader," Mongoose asks as you step up and start bossing people around. "The hippie chick," you answer smugly. "She was hardly an authority," the nerd girl scoffs. "Oh man, I'm totally gonna die next," Dizzy Steve screams. "Not if I can help it," you tell him, "I've got a plan." And so you point in a random direction and start walking while trying to come up with one.

An hour later you are still drawing a blank while you hear the group behind you murmur about mutiny. The forest has also turned pitch black, and you keep seeing spooky glowing yellow eyes in the bushes. Mongoose is starting to turn hostile, the robot keeps insisting that your choices do not compute, and before you know it, you stumble upon a pig furry wallowing in a puddle of filth.

"Oink," he says, "don't judge me, like, you don't think gays are deviants, do you? So what's wrong with being a furry? People are just ignorant and not ready for my way of expressing my sexual identity. Like, I don't judge you for masturbating to the vamp chicks in Buffy, how is that so different from getting off to Gadget from Chip & Dale or Piglet? Don't be so narrow-minded. I also do art, wanna see?"

Before he has the chance to poison your mind with the contents of his mud-soaked portfolio, you jump him and rip his head clear off before making a monument from it. The other kids are shocked (as would the robot be if he could understand human emotion, oh if he only could understand emotion and be a part of society instead of observing it from the outside), and don't know how to relate to this. Once they have digested what just took place, some of them accept you as their leader and start worshipping the pig monument while the others decide to form their own clan in a cave nearby.

Before a week has passed, you all have painted your faces in tribal patterns and fought a number of wars. Oh, and you killed and devoured the fat kid. Finally, only you and the robot remain, and your pike is no match for his laser eyes. The moral: man is inherently a savage and needs a society and laser eyes to keep him in check.

GO BACK AND READ THE CLASSICS!