Being no fool, you realize that the only way to salvage this situation is to see that bully with his pants around his ankles. You dive forward, arms outstretched in front of you, and manage to grab onto his pants. "Yes!! Victory!" you think, as gravity pulls you downward and your momentum yanks his pants down with you.

You hear gasps throughout the room and with a smug sense of satisfaction you note that this bully will never be taken seriously again. As you lay on the ground, clutching his pants in your hands and reveling in your victory, you hear a quiet voice coming from the doorway of the cabin.

"Magnificent," whispers Counselor Dick Boddy, as he kneels down in the doorway with a tear in his eye. Confused, you look up and see flapping in your face the BIGGEST, most ENORMOUS, incredibly MASSIVE—Dick Boddy rushes forth and places Mongoose's hands tenderly in his own. "There is a future for you, my son. Oh yes, a wondrous future for a special boy like you. Come with me."

In the coming years, Mongoose becomes the most famous porn star to ever walk the earth, and it's all thanks to you. Bitterness consumes you every time you see his legendary penis lighting up Times Square.

But Mongoose didn't forget you, oh no. His gratitude toward you for helping him be discovered is readily apparent in his invitation for you to ride along on his wave of success. That's why he's insisted you be his personal on-set fluffer for all of his movies.

HEY FLUFFY, START OVER!