I'll pawn this rarity on eBay, you decide. There's gotta be someone there who'll buy a CD that's glowing red AND from the 80s. That's a double-whammy of evil right there. As luck would have it, there's a PC in the camp's AV shack, and, incredibly, eBay already has a stock photo of the infernal Wham CD in their database.

The sale goes remarkable well for you. After a week of bidding, the current price is up to $223.43. Finally, the auction ends, and the "lucky" bidder sends you your money. Unfortunately, packing materials are a bit scarce out here in the wilderness, so rather than asking around, you wrap the CD in some of Francis's pairs of underwear and stuff the whole mess into his pillow case. He protests your using his unmentionables (unwashables too, judging by the smell) as packing material, but a quick ear flick reminds him of who's in charge here. Mongoose informs you that he has some stamps he was licking for a cheap high, and there's just enough glue left on them to make ‘em stick to the pillow case. You ball up the whole mess, address it properly, and hurl it into the open door of a passing UPS truck.

A week later, you receive an email from your buyer stating that he still hasn't received his CD. You ignore it, confident that your comically assembled package will reach him soon. Three business days later, however, you receive an email from PayPal regarding a complaint they received from said whiny customer. It looks like you forgot about their Buyer Protection policy. Suddenly, you hear a commotion outside the shack. You peek your head out the door, and find yourself face to face with a PayPal Buyer Protection Droid.

"You are in violation of PayPal (an eBay company) policy. You have three seconds to surrender."

You slam the door shut and try to brace it, but the droid takes the liberty of "lighting up" the shed.

YOU SHOULD HAVE READ THE FINE PRINT, JACKASS!