You let out a big sigh and start to walk in the direction that the Moo sign is pointing to. You keep walking in that direction for what seems like days. And why does it seem like days? Because it was, idiot. Next time stop and take a breather. Don't you need to piss or something? Jesus... pull it together!

Frustration settles in as you realize that you may have walked all this way for nothing.  "Who the fuck paints a sign with the word 'Moo" on it? In blood no less!" you think to yourself!

"I did!" says the most gorgeous woman you've ever seen in your pathetic little life.

Actually, she's just a figment of your imagination. See what I mean? You really need to sit down and take a breather. Have something to eat for chrissakes. Oh wait, you don't have anything to eat do you? Guess you had better look around and see if you can find anything worth scarfing down.

Uh HELLO! What, were you just gonna keep on walking past that building? Did you not see the huge fucking letters that read "MOO!" on the side of the building? Do you think that maybe this place has something to do with that Moo sign you saw a few days ago? Do ya? Hmmmmmm? Idiot...

You make your way towards the building and quickly realize that it's a slaughterhouse. "AH HA! SO IT WAS COW'S BLOOD THAT THE 'MOO' WORD WAS WRITTEN IN!" you exclaim with excitement as if you were Sherlock-fucking-Holmes discovering a big clue. And just before you can pat your idiot-self on the back any more, a man pokes his head out of the slaughterhouse...

"Hi there! My name's Jeb... Jeb Jenkins! And I see you're a patron of the arts!" he says as he proudly looks at the "Moo!" on the side of his slaughterhouse.

"Art? Oh the 'Moo!' sign... yep, art. Sure is... art...istic." you respond in the most pleasant manner that you're able to muster up considering you've gone days without any food or sleep.

Jeb looks at you with concern in his eyes. "Say there fell-er! You don't look too good, when's the last time you had yourself a meal?"

He may look insane, but you're glad this guy is nice enough. "God yes! I haven't eaten in days! I was following that damned... I mean... that extremely nice 'Moo' sign and totally forgot to eat. You see, I'm an idiot. The writers of this story told me so."

"Well then don't you worry now, ya hear me boy? You've come to the right place! This here be my very own meat factory! I specialize in the potted meat products!" he says with delight.

"Potted meat products?" you ask, as if you had a choice of eating anything else.

"Yessir! Meat in a can! The way God intended it!" he chuckles as blood from his slaughtered cows continues to trickle off his beard. "Tell ya what, you can have a free can on the house! Pick any one you want! Who knows! Maybe it'll change your life!"

Uh oh. You don't like how he put so much emphasis on the words 'change your life'. That must mean you have to make some extremely vital decision here, and there's no way you can possibly know what the right choice is. You simply have to pick the right can of meat. You'd probably have better luck at winning the lottery, but considering you'll die in about 30 seconds if you don't get some food in your system, you don't have much of a choice now do you? CHOOSE YOUR MEAT!

CLICK ON THE PRODUCT YOU WISH TO EAT!