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Please don't feed PickleMan
Please don't feed PickleMan
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SELECT YOUR DESTINY BOOK 6 - PARADISE NIGHTMARE!


"A dinette set!?!? OH MY FUCKING GOD IN A FUCKFEST! IT IS A DINETTE SET!!!!" you scream with more glee than anybody ever should about a dinette set. Everybody - Pat, Vanna, and the audience - shakes their heads at you in disgusted pity. But those looks just bounce right off of you, you're completely unfazed. Why? Because you just got yourself a dinette set, something you've always wanted.

They send you home and you pace around your empty house for days, waiting for that prize delivery truck to finally arrive. You can't eat, you can't sleep, all you can think about is that dinette set. Just when you think you can't stand to wait another minute, you hear the truck pull up. They drop off the dinette set, and sure enough, it's exactly like you remembered it. "FABULOUSSSS!!"

wow... so... exciting...

You sit on the floor and just stare at it. For days you stare at it with such a menacing smile, you'd think somebody secretly slipped you a dosage of Smilex. Soon, however, that big smile turns to a frown. And with the frown comes the tears. And why are you looking like Niagara Falls? Because you came to the realization that your entire life has been built around such trite, materialistic horseshit that you've never even bothered to make any friends. Who the hell are you going to invite to sit at this dinette set with you? Nobody, that's who. And you know something? I can't think of a more justified demise for a pedestrian chump such as yourself.

WHEN YOU'RE DONE CRYING A RIVER, START AGAIN!!


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