How about A Flock of
Seagulls? That's about as 80s as you can get without lining your clothes
with neon appointments. "I was just crazy about A Flock of Seagulls,"
you proclaim. Sure enough, that was the answer Harvey was looking for.
"Man, I knew you had good taste. You know, I used to have that same hair
as the lead singer, back when I had hair. Hey, remember that song ‘I
Ran'?" Of course you remember it. Oh wait, which one of their hits songs
was that? Oh yeah, the ONLY one! Better to keep those thoughts to
yourself, as Harvey has launched into the song:
I walked along the
avenue.
I never thought I'd meet a girl like you;
Meet a girl like you.
With auburn hair and tawny eyes;
The kind of eyes that hypnotize me through;
Hypnotize me through.
All of a sudden, Harvey
stops singing and motions to you. Time to sing the chorus. "And I
raaaaan, I ran so far awaaaay. I just raaaaaan, I ran so far awaaaaay…"
Uh oh. All of a sudden, you can't remember any part of that song except
for the first part of the chorus. After repeating it for the eighth
time, Harvey begins to think that maybe you don't love a certain
collection of saltwater birds as much as you said you did. He advances
on you menacingly, and just before he's upon you, you remember "I
couldn't get away." Coincidentally, you couldn't get away, and
everything goes dark.
You are jostled awake some time later. It appears that you're on a small
plane. Looks like Harvey was a bit more understanding than you thought
he'd be. Yes, it looks like everything is going to be alright. You peek
out the window to see if you can see Paradise Island. Nope, just an
awful lot of desert. As you wonder just where it is that you're flying
over, a man steps out of the cockpit. It's Harvey! You start to mumble
out an apology for your Flock of Seagulls fib when he roughly shoves a
parachute into your arms. Not good. He slides open the door of the small
plane and looks back at you with a crazy look in his eyes. "Maybe this
will help you remember," he bellows as he kicks you out the door.
You tumble head over heels through the sky, but you do manage to hold
onto your parachute. You briefly wonder what city it is that's rushing
up toward you, but your survival instinct takes over and you quickly
strap on your parachute and yank the cord. Unfortunately, it seems that
joker Harvey has filled your chute with A Flock of Seagulls CDs. Moments
before you hit the ground, you recognize the country you're falling
into, and you marvel at the extraordinary lengths Harvey went to in
order to make such a strange pun as you slam into downtown Tehran.
