You sweat with
anticipation as Fjornok's small plastic hand reaches out to flip the
card and reveal your fate to you.
"What the!? Richard
Simmons!? How the fuck can my future be 'Richard Simmons'??? That
doesn't even make sense, you little freak!"
Fjornok just sits there staring at you.
"Look man, you gave me a bad fortune. I need a new one. That's not a
fortune. That's a name. Seriously, how could my fortune possibly
be 'Richard Simmons'?"
Fjornok's eyes turn
red, and by that I mean even redder than usual, and he begins laughing
evilly as the lights in the bathroom all go red, like you're in Hell or
something. It's at this moment that the cold realization hits you that
Fjornok isn't messing around; you're fortune really is "Richard
Simmons" and the implications of that frighten you to the core of your
very soul.
You imagine all of the
different horrible ways that Richard Simmons could be your future and
soon enough you can feel your sanity slipping away. In a blind panic,
you run for the door to the plane and start trying to bash it open.
"Damn these safety measures!" you cry, desperate. You black out then,
but regain consciousness a few moments later in a free fall. You can see
the plane flying away above you. You don't know how you managed it, but
you got out of the plane! You're free! Free from that horrible fate
involving Richard Simmons! Of course, in about fifteen seconds you're
still dead, and ironically you land right on top of a cruise liner that
Richard Simmons just happens to be doing a "Sweatin' to the Oldies"
aerobics class on.
