"Hey, did you know that
Joss Whedon is doing a movie about you?" you tell Wonder Woman boldly,
thinking it will easily distract her from the answers she seeks from
you.
"Who?"
"You know, Joss Whedon.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer guy. Nothing? How about Angel. No? Firefly?"
She shakes her head. "Well, I guess you probably don't get a lot of TV
out here on this island, do you?"
"Is it a documentary?" she asks. "About my life, and all of the heroic
adventures I've had?"
"Uh, no. It's another Hollywood superhero movie. Like Spider-man."
"And they want to use MY likeness without my permission? Or
without paying me any royalties?"
You cringe, expecting her to lash out in anger at any moment. Her eyes
go cold and she just stares at you menacingly. "Bummer," she says
finally.
You breathe a sigh of relief just before she says "I cannot waste
anymore time on you. I have to go check for survivors at the crash site.
What if someone like a young William Shatner is on board?" And with that
she turns and darts off toward the smoldering wreckage.
Dammit! You knew you should have told her that William Shatner
was most definitely not on board. You end up spending the rest of your
days watching William Shatner and Wonder Woman living happily ever
after, while you remain cold and alone on an island of beautiful women,
foolishly forgetting that at any time you could easily just buy passage
off the island and return to your old life.
