Please don't feed PickleMan
Please don't feed PickleMan
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"Look, you ignorant sonsabitches, what do I have to do to prove to you just how serious I am about this? What if I cut off my pinky finger? Will THAT prove to you I'm not crazy and that there really are aliens about to kill us all!?" you scream at the bewildered townsfolk.

They all shrug at each other and one of them says, "Uh sure... why not, cut it off."

"Ok! You want it? You got it!" You whip out a pocket knife and begin to carve away at your quivering little pinky finger. Amazingly, you don't even utter the slightest grunt while doing so. Aren't you the macho one!

Oh, but it's sooooooooooo realistic? How could they NOT fall for it?

Actually no, you're just an ass with a novelty "severed finger" gag that anybody with eyes and a brain could distinguish from the real thing. The townsfolk instantly call you on your lies and decide to lynch you for your cowardice.

You laugh about it at first, figuring they're just trying to get back at you by using one of those "fake lynch mob fire" gags since you tried tricking them with your fake finger. Well it's not a fake lynch mob fire. And that's not fake agonizing pain your feeling. And that's not the fake scent of your own flesh burning. And that's not the fake you fake dying.


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