"Look, you ignorant
sonsabitches, what do I have to do to prove to you just how serious I am
about this? What if I cut off my pinky finger? Will THAT prove to you
I'm not crazy and that there really are aliens about to kill us all!?"
you scream at the bewildered townsfolk.
They all shrug at each
other and one of them says, "Uh sure... why not, cut it off."
"Ok! You want it?
You got it!" You whip out a pocket knife and begin to carve away at
your quivering little pinky finger. Amazingly, you don't even utter the
slightest grunt while doing so. Aren't you the macho one!
Actually no, you're
just an ass with a novelty "severed finger" gag that anybody with eyes
and a brain could distinguish from the real thing. The townsfolk
instantly call you on your lies and decide to lynch you for your
You laugh about it at
first, figuring they're just trying to get back at you by using one of
those "fake lynch mob fire" gags since you tried tricking them with your
fake finger. Well it's not a fake lynch mob fire. And that's not fake
agonizing pain your feeling. And that's not the fake scent of your own
flesh burning. And that's not the fake you fake dying.
START OVER, FAKER!
help support I-Mockery by supporting our sponsors: