Finally! There's no way
those two interstellar creepazoids can beat a hasty retreat on foot with
acres of corn in their paths. Time to gather up the fast-approaching mob
and lead them on towards your vindication! You charge through the corn
in the direction of the chattering townsfolk.
You emerge from the corn to see the mayor angrily motioning for the
crowd to spread out and search for the perp that pants'ed him (i.e.,
you). You also see that he has yet to pull his pants up. One of the
townies points at you and the mayor swings around to greet you with a
frumpy frown. You're glad you caught him in a good mood.
"So, you've returned, you cur. No doubt to turn yourself in to the
proper authorities." Hmm, he must still be mad about the whole "public
embarrassment" thing. "First things first, I've just come from a meeting
between two of the aliens! Follow me, and I'll lead you to the site!!"
Sure enough, the crowd is behind you 100%. You're sure that when the
mayor said, "get him!" he really meant, "follow him!" Either way,
they're still on your tail when you arrive at the meeting spot.
"Look, they split up and ran off," you explain. "We should do the same,
only we'll run after them, you see, and then we'll-
"You dastard. Not only have you de-trouser'ed my person, but now you've
knocked down a good portion of this tasty corn just to string us along
with your rrrrrruse! Perhaps a chat with the local constabulary is in
order."
"But, but, but..." and the buts continue as you are dragged off to the
police station. After a quick trial, you're convicted of these heinous
crimes of pants-ing the mayor and tricking the populace. Normally, the
sentence would be a mere 100 hours of community service, but the
presiding judge doesn't want to appear soft on minor misdemeanors, and
instead orders that you undergo a lobotomy to prevent any further
shenanigans. At some point, the aliens probably will invade, but you've
got your hands full just getting this whole "breathe in, breathe out"
thing figured out.
