Naturally
the best way to meet Dolph Lundgren is to sneak into his trailer. That
way you'll get some private time with him, and you won't have to deal
with that crowd of assholes outside. You find a prop of a large bush
laying around on the set, and using that to conceal yourself you manage
to slowly make your way to the trailer. From there it's a relatively
simple matter to just climb into the window while everyone is distracted
by the action sequence they're currently filming of Dolph fighting a
bunch of ninjas.
It takes a few moments for your eyes to adjust to the darkness of the
trailer, but you're pretty sure you hear breathing nearby. Perhaps
Dolph's on-the-set hooker is napping in the trailer, you think, hoping
it's not some horrible attack dog or trained gorilla or something. A few
moments later you notice a carefully concealed ninja crouching next to
you in a bookshelf. And then you spot another one in the sink! And
another hanging from the ceiling lamp! My god, they're everywhere!
"Hey,
shouldn't you guys be out on the set? They're filming your big scene
right now," you stand up and blurt out, laughing at the absurdity of the
situation.
The ninjas continue to remain silent and motionless. "Unless you guys
are real ninj--" And that's when they kill you. But if it's any
consolation, you never even saw it coming, nor did you feel a thing.
