You've finally figured
it all out: the snakes, the arcade game from nowhere, the bean stalk,
walking on clouds, or "sunshine" as you like to think of it—you're
dreaming! Yes, you must have gotten knocked out when you got zapped by
the game, and now you're a twitching, drooling, soiled mess on your
basement floor—but wait, that doesn't make sense, because then where did
the game come from? Oh yes, that's it! That was part of the dream too!
So you're no doubt all warm and snuggly in your bed and you most likely
haven't soiled yourself at all, and you dreamt that you found a
mysterious game in your basement!
Well, if this is a dream, you reason, I can't possibly get
hurt! I'm going to jump onto the nose of that oncoming plane!
Unfortunately, you've spent so much time pondering dreams, that no
sooner do you have that thought then the plane smacks right into you
anyway, sprawling you across the cockpit window with your arms and legs
stretched to the sides. But the fact that you're not actually dead from
this thing that would have obviously killed you only goes to further
prove your theory! However, you can't help but notice that that annoying
red bar above your head has immediately dropped another third, leaving
you only, let's see... carry the one, divide by pi, y=mx+b—one third
left, by your calculations!
You begin to wonder what all this could mean, when you look into the
cockpit and notice that the plane is being piloted by... A MONKEY
WITH A FEZ!
You notice that he's
dressed in his "Top Gun" duds and he's flying the plane with an
intensely determined look on his face, as if he believes this 747 is
actually an F-14. "You're just an actor!" you yell through the
screaming wind. "You can't fly a plane! Maverick was just a character
you played!" Tom just gives you a smile and a thumbs up from inside
the cockpit. You're not sure if he heard you or not.
My god! I've got to get off this plane, you think, temporarily
forgetting your whole "I can't die" theory in the face of Tom
Cruise trying to fly an airplane.
