Decades from now, you'll look back on this moment from your bed in a poorly funded old age home and wonder what might have happened if you'd gone to the reading of your great Uncle's will.

Maybe something interesting would have happened instead of the colorless, drab, tepid existence you slouched through until finally landing in this bed, delusional, incontinent, covered with bed sores, and more than anything else, finally dying of boredom.

Never took a chance, never went out on a limb, never sowed a single wild oat, never even kissed a girl, a whole life lived doing absolutely nothing at all. All the air you ever breathed could have been breathed by somebody who did something with their lives, but no, you selfishly sucked it into your completely uninteresting lungs, breath after pointless breath.

Maybe the afterlife will have something to offer you think as you die, not even knowing the answer is no, that heaven and hell are for people who did something good or bad in their lives and all you did was take up space, and you were pretty lackluster doing even that.

START AGAIN, AND THIS TIME FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T PICK SUCH AN OBVIOUSLY WRONG CHOICE!