Chip:
If Bobbie Brown comes and serves me the cherry pie soda, I think this grown man will cry!
Kelly:
Somehow I don't think that's his prerogative!
Chip:
Uh, you're thinkin' of the wrong person, Kelster!
Kelly:
Oopsy!
Chip:
This one tastes like pure cherry grenadine! Smells like those maraschino
cherries!
Kelly:
Yeah! It reminds me of a Shirley Temple!
Chip:
Been tasting many former child-actresses lately, have you?
Kelly:
Oh you! You're so bad! You're so bad! Isn't he bad folks? You're so bad!
*UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER*
Chip:
Look what we've got here; it's "Apple Pie"
soda!
Kelly:
An apple pie a day keeps the doctor away!
Chip:
Ha, ha! Don't you just love her, America? Don't you just love her!?
Kelly:
I'm American as apple pie!
*UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER*
Kelly:
It reminds me of ginger ale!
Chip:
I think it's more like cinnamon, with a bubblegum aftertaste.
Kelly:
Ok! Who put bubblegum in Chip's soda?
Chip:
Yeah who put bubblegum in my soda! I bet it was our producer, Hellman!
Kelly:
Hellman! Did you put bubblegum in his soda?
*HELLMAN, THE PRODUCER, SHRUGS*
Chip:
His silence speaks a thousand words folks!
Kelly:
Next up is "Key Lime Pie" flavor!
Chip:
Let's hope it has the key to a real lime flavor!
Chip:
Yeee! That's sweeter than a lime Otter Pop!
Kelly:
I like it! It tastes just like Wink Soda!
Chip:
Or, if you don't pour it into your eyes, it tastes kinda like Sprite
too!
Kelly:
*WINK* *WINK*
Chip:
What's this one? It's "Blueberry Pie" flavor!
Kelly:
Awww, don't feel blue, Chip!
Chip:
I wouldn't be feeling blue if I wasn't about to drink something that was
the same color as my toilet water!
*UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER*
Kelly:
That was like grape bubblegum gone bad!
Chip:
Ha! Looks like somebody else has the bubblegum in their soda this time! I
dunno, that one was a lot more mellow than I was expecting. Not too
shabby, but nothing to write home about. Say, who writes home these days?
Let's get a show of hands!
*AUDIENCE RAISES HANDS AND CHEERS*
Chip:
Good for you, audience!
Kelly:
Yeah, way to keep in touch with your parents! They miss you and love you!
Chip:
So that does it for the Jones Soda Dessert Pack! Now it's time to move on
to the main course!
Kelly:
It's the 2006 Jones Soda Holiday Pack!
Chip:
Wait a minute! You mean to tell me that we're gonna be drinking pea
flavored soda and antacid flavored soda?
Kelly:
Don't forget the Turkey & Gravy flavor too!
Chip:
I think I'm gonna need a bib for this meal!
Kelly:
Well Chip, that's perfectly normal when a person gets to your age!
*UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER*
Chip:
You've gotta be kidding me! "Dinner Roll"
soda?
Kelly:
I don't know how they fit the rolls into these little bottles, let alone turned
them into liquid!
Chip:
It's probably the same way they fit those model boats into bottles too.
Kelly:
You know what? I think you're right! Yeah!
Kelly:
Eww! That was like drinking infected yeast! A yeast infection!
Chip:
Just because I've tasted my own bile before doesn't mean I'd want it
carbonated, bottled and sold to me for 10 bucks a pack!
Kelly:
One potato, two potato, three potato, four! Five potato, six potato, "Sweet
Potato" soda!
Chip:
How do you like your potatoes, Kelly? Mashed, baked, or liquefied?
Kelly:
I think we're about to find out, Chip!
Chip:
Yep; that was definitely sweet potato. It smelled like sweet potato, it
tasted like sweet potato... it was sweet potato. Only problem is
that sweet potato makes for a really bland soda.
