Features

The Haunted Horrors Of The 2012 Los Angeles County Fair!
by: -RoG-

...CONTINUED


Attraction #2: Zombie Mansion!

Our second stop is Zombie Mansion, and while it was the weakest of the three Halloween attractions at the L.A. County Fair, it still has more then enough going on to keep your eyes occupied for a while. Let's take a closer look at it...

Alright, so we're starting off with a random cardboard zombie cutout in front of a glowing green window, or maybe it's a green screen and he's auditioning for a role in the next Romero flick. Whatever the case may be, I'm as okay with this guy as I am with the shiny faux brick walls that surround the window he's standing in.

Blurry photoshopped images, including a mysterious guy peering through a cracked window, serve as the backdrop for some candles and the carts you enter the ride in.

Now this is definitely the highlight for me - a giant cobra-dragon hybrid about to attack a zombie lady on the top right side of the mansion. And who is to say that cobra-dragons don't survive by maintaining a steady diet of zombie flesh? Have you ever seen a cobra-dragon? Didn't think so. I'm also not sure if that zombie lady is fretting about the cobra-dragon or the bright light in front of her. Either way, she's not going to be bothered by either one for much longer, since she appears to be first on the ol' smorgasbord.

Here are some more of the zombies, just kind of hanging out while bats fly around them and faces pop out out of the walls. One zombie is a cop, or at least a security officer, so I was surprised they didn't just rip the art from Maniac Cop for this one.

Of the three attractions, this photo shows you that Zombie Mansion just didn't get much love. Much like the zombies standing there, gnawing on old bones, this place appears to have gotten all the leftovers that weren't used on the other two haunts. After all, the Zombie Mansion title isn't even lit up, and a lot of people had trouble even reading the word "Mansion" since it was poorly lit and blended in with the background. Still, it's nice to see that even zombies can afford to live in luxury, what with such a nice big window view of a full moon and a big tree branch.

Oh crap! As if the cobra-dragon on the right side wasn't bad enough, now there's a behemoth spider bursting through the walls of their mansion on the left! I hope these zombies have a really solid homeowner's insurance policy. Then again, considering they're about to be devoured by spiders and cobra-dragons, they probably could use some life insurance. Oh wait... they're dead already, so I guess that's not gonna do 'em any good. No matter how many financial advantages they may have over us, make no mistake about it: it's not easy being a zombie in a mansion.

Is that a werewolf on the far left corner of the mansion? Why yes... yes it is. If it bites a zombie, does the zombie become a were-zombie? If a zombie bites it, does it become a zombie-wolf? So many questions left unanswered here!

I don't know why, but I just love that there's a straw tiki island umbrella setup for the ticket guy to reside under. Yes, come to the tropical paradise that is Zombie Mansion!

So what do rich zombies do to keep themselves entertained? They torture this poor bastard by keeping him strapped into an electric chair within a metal cage, and fry him bit by bit throughout the night. Perhaps this is how they cook their human meat before they eat it?

As you can see from this daytime shot, the zombie mansion just isn't nearly as vibrant as the Haunted Mansion was. The colors aren't that strong and appear to have been a bit sun-bleached over time. Poor zombies... they already look decrepit enough as it is, so why make them deal with lackluster aesthetics in their living quarters?

Well don't worry, because I've saved the absolute best for last. It's time to head to the final page to view the Creep Show!

There's still more L.A. County Fair horror to see!
Click here to continue onward to page 3!

 

Reader Comments

 

OLD COMMENTS:

Forum Virgin
Oct 2nd, 2012, 03:56 PM
Wow three haunted attractions at one fair, I think that's unheard of. I love when they throw in all these horror characters in from all over. The cyclops is from "The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad" and the demon in the sixth picture of the "Creep Show" looks like the demon from the The Doctor episodes The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit. Is that a flying monkey from the Wizard of OZ in the last pic of page 3?!
Member
Oct 2nd, 2012, 08:44 PM
Nice article as always.

You know I've got to think that adding all those lights and wrapping all of that artwork and stuff would have to cost a lot of money. I wonder why they don't just spend some of that money on the INSIDE instead and make a better ride.
Cranberry Everything
Oct 2nd, 2012, 10:35 PM
I'm amazed those things still exist. I remember every one as a kid being nearly identical to the video (almost nothing) and yet I was never once disappointed.
Forum Virgin
Oct 3rd, 2012, 02:25 AM
Mr. Chainsaw with the lightning behind him reminds me of those old USA Thunder shirts that the redneck kids used to wear when I was in middle school. I'm pretty sure they were Wal-Mart exclusives at the time. If they brought them back now with Mr. Chainsaw, I'd totally rock one.
Forum Virgin
Oct 3rd, 2012, 02:39 AM
And I'm pretty sure that Satan on the exterior of Creepshow is supposed to be Darkness from Legend. A friend of mine bought a pretty cool mask based on that character many Halloweens ago. After hours of stuffing the huge horns and other prosthetic parts with toilet paper, meticulously gluing down the edges, and filling in the gaps with makeup he discovered on the way to the party that he was allergic to the spirit gum adhesive. Ouch.
Member
Oct 3rd, 2012, 09:27 AM
That is definitely Darkness. Between that and Pennywise on the Haunted Mansion, I have to assume that dark ride designers have some kind of Tim Curry fetish. I'm sure if you look close enough at the Zombie Mansion facade you can find the butler from Clue.
Recovering Lycanthrope
Oct 3rd, 2012, 10:47 PM
HowardC, that's obvious - they spend the money on the outside, because once you've paid your admission, THEY DON'T CARE.

Great article, RoG! What did it sound like inside the rides? As much as I enjoy a good chiptune, I'm curious if there was music, sound effects, or just the crash and hiss of pneumatic actuators...
Pickled Patriarch
Oct 4th, 2012, 12:54 AM
Thanks for the clarification on some of the characters on the facades.

ForgottenInvader
- Yeah, I couldn't believe they had three horror attractions. I've never seen more than one, unless you count the traditional house of mirrors / funhouse to be a horror attraction.

HowardC - What JohnnyQuest said. They lure you in and then it doesn't matter to them afterwards.

JohnnyQuest - It was mainly pneumatics, but there were a few sound effects like lightning crashes and ghostly "ooohs" 'n "ahhhs" in there.
an organism
Oct 4th, 2012, 10:16 PM
@ A-bomb: who DOESN'T have a Tim Curry Fetish?
I shot Wilhelm.
Oct 5th, 2012, 03:08 AM
Man, I miss L.A. something fierce. It's still in the high 90s here and doesn't feel like autumn at all.
Also, Al Cohaulic wasn't even at legal drinking age and he died of alcohol poisoning.
Pickled Patriarch
Oct 5th, 2012, 03:30 AM
For what it's worth, we did have quite a heat wave here recently. It was in the upper 90s and even 100s in parts of Southern California last week. That said, there's definitely a ton of Halloween stuff to do out here. When I moved out to L.A. about six years ago, I wasn't expecting much, but they really do celebrate the hell out of my favorite holiday here.
Forum Virgin
Oct 8th, 2012, 05:02 PM
GREAT article -RoG-!!! Once again you have been able to take all of us who are either to far away, or otherwise engaged, right along with you! Awesome Artwork, and totally sweet how you concentrated on each part to get the full effect!

Click here to return to the Features homepage