Recently, Pjalne and myself started visiting an informative little web
site known as
lawforkids.org. One section in particular, the "Law Stripz" Cartoons,
really caught our attention. It's probably because they changed the 's' on
the end of 'strips' to a 'z', and we're suckers for ultra cool lingo like
Pjalne: Sure are. This is also a brilliant way to hook kids on the
concept. When they see something that ends in a 'z' instead of your
regular vanilla 's', they all go 'Whooah, this is off the wall, G!' and
get into all the cool lessons they're about to be taught. These guys know
what they're doing.
RoG: G? What is this 'G' you speak of? I'm still getting used to
things ending with 'Z' and now you're telling me they're ending words with
'G' too? This is madness I say. MADNESS!
Pjalne: Gotta get down with it yo. Don't get no cred when yo
talking like gramps G.
RoG: I'm just gonna continue suckling on my Werther's Original candy and
pretend that I understand what you're talking about.
Pjalne: You do that, worked for Vanilla Ice. So, I guess we should
ease the readers into the mind-blowing powers of Law Stripz. Care to
summarize in five words or less?
RoG: Strips (er stripZ) for would-be hooligans.
Pjalne: Gettin' the hang of it bro. So, we'll be diving into this
RoG: Sure why not, Q. Let's take a gander at some of the strips and
try to analyze just what they're trying to tell us.
What I like about the narrative style in these stripz is that they don't
feel the need to cram exposition in when they can convey their message via
images. Here we see how a complext story can be understood by only three
lines of dialogue.
RoG: Complext. Is that more of that hip street talk?
Pjalne: Erm... Yeees... Dawg G... Foo.
RoG: Anyway, I don't think they need to cram extra text into these
strips. They're perfectly easy to understand. Take this strip for
example... it's clearly trying to teach kids an important lesson. And
what lesson is that? The lesson is that if you go for a ride in a 'cool
car', you will be arrested even if you're a passenger. So make sure you
only go for a ride in non-cool cars, like a Pinto.
Pjalne: Exactly. The message comes across clear as a bell. Thanks
to this strip, I don't think we'll be seeing a lot of kids driving around
RoG: I bet famous rap artists are going to have to start changing
their lyrics about owning fancy cars as a result of these comics. If they
don't, their album sales are destined to flop.
RoG: "Drivin' down tha' road in mah rusty ol' shitmobile with the
fly chrome rims. Awwwwwww yyyyeah!"
Pjalne: They'll drop fo' sho' if they don't get wid it. America
will not take this corruption of young minds lying down.
Hrm, I'm not sure if I quite get the message of this one. Can you explain?
Pjalne: Isn't it obvious? He's sick of being bullied around, so he
uses the power of his mind to make a gun materialize in his backpack.
RoG: And for using his imagination he gets sent to prison?
Pjalne: Mutant control is important.
RoG: One thing I don't understand is why the artist never puts in
that 6th panel into the comic? It's always left blank white. Do they just
not want to show what happens next? I think the message to the kids would
be taken much more seriously if they saw a comic depiction of a guy getting anally
raped in a prison cell or stuck with a shiv.
Pjalne: That blank panel is obviously there to keep the stories
open-ended. This is where the parents can discuss the story with their
kids so they themselves can tell them about the anal rape. It's better
kids hear it from their parents than learn it on the street, you know.
RoG: I disagree. It's a much harder lesson to learn when your
parents are the ones raping you. I'd prefer it to be a complete stranger.
Pjalne: Well, I guess this is where the two of us just are
different. I think sexuality is a very personal thing, and I think you
should get to know and feel comfortable with your partners before engaging
in something so intimate.
Now, I'm confused, RoG. I'm a stranger to your culture being from Not
America and all, can you really get your driver's license revoked by
tagging 'EVIL' on a wall? Or is Arizona part of some sort of bizarro
RoG: Ah see, this is where I can see an outsider would get
confused. Tagging the words 'EVIL' on the wall is perfectly legal.
However, this little vagrant was actually writing "EVE 6 RULES!" on a
wall. Frankly, he's lucky they didn't give him the chair.
I should probably translate a couple of the balloons in this one for you, RoG. "Whasssup Mikeee" is how some young people started addressing
friends by the name Michael after a wildly popular series of beer
commercials revolutionized 'ebonics' in the late nineties. 'Didn't
know you were down with the chronic Mikee' roughly translates to 'I was not
aware that you were bed-ridden due to a chronic illness, Michael'.
RoG: Thanks for the explanation man... and here I thought this one was all
about how complimenting someone's hat can lead to them offering you a bag
of snot - which is indeed "bad for you" as the kid already stated.
Pjalne: It sure is bad for you, but more importantly, it's also
illegal. I'll have to compliment the artist here on being brave enough to
show the world as it is rather than sugarcoating it. Like in the real
world, here white kids grow up to be executives with sharp suits and pie
charts while black kids end up looking like Tupac Shakur and in jail or
dead on the streets.
RoG: Tupac with a Scott Ian-like beard no less. The funny thing is, the
white guy looks like he's ready to burst out crying in that pie chart pic,
while Tupac "Anthrax" Shakur there is almost smiling. Jesus, these things
are just like real life!
Pjalne: Yes, while Mikeee's life can seem perfect from the outside,
he obviously surrounds himself with shallow brownnoses and feels strangely
unfulfilled when he goes to bed at night. Black Kid, on the other hand,
may be poor jailbird, but he knows his 'crew' will always be there for him
and loves him for who he is.
RoG: It's like poetry.
Pjalne: It's poetry you can learn from. It's poedutainment.
Wait, skipping school is illegal? If that's true, I should be doing life
Pjalne: You think YOU'd be in trouble? I'm lucky we don't have the
death penalty. It's sad we won't be able to recreate the glory of
the envelope-pushing flash animation of this strip in its original form.
The panning camera in the part where she walks easily beats the scene at
the harbor in that Fellini film, and the slow-mo collision with the cop's
ass was something straight out of John Woo's head.
RoG: Oh absolutely. I don't think my bandwidth could handle those
massive flash animations though. I mean just look at those details...
they're really pushing the limits of what Macromedia Flash is capable of
Pjalne: I know, this one really put the 'ace' in 'space age'.
Another fine strip where a negro gets in trouble. So far the score is
Blackey 4, Whitey 1, Carlos 1.
RoG: Wait, if the blackey is getting in trouble the most, how come he
has more points?
Pjalne: Golf rules, jackass.
No, Mario Kart rules.
Now, this one has a plot that makes you think. It's like that movie Donnie
Darko where you have to see it twice or even three times to understand it.
RoG: I only had to see it once to realize there's a lot better
movies out there, I don't know why people are so obsessed with it. Yes, it
has a guy in a freaky bunny costume. Ooooo. Move along kids. What were we
talking about? Oh yeah, the strip. So this one is trying to tell us that
cops are on the lookout for interracial marriages?
Pjalne: Some people will tell you that the whole deal was about
seatbelts, but this is just a red herring. What's really going on is that
the police car is ramming the bastard family in the rear, and they put
their belts on to be safer in the crazy getaway ride. And they put their
eight-year-old in a booster seat just to be sure.
RoG: Why was the little kid hunched over the seat like that in the
first place? She looks like she's about to vomit in that one frame.
Pjalne: She's obviously just been thrown back into the seat behind
her after the pigs crashed straight into their bumper. I'm not sure if
that's vomit or her tongue being forced out of her mouth by the g-forces,
but either interpretation supports my theory.
RoG: I still say the cops are just targeting interracial marriages.
They're pulling everybody over these days. Hell, I can't even ride in a car with Protoclown anymore without being
pulled over. Of course we're always naked, but still...
Pjalne: I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought when you brought up
naked Proto. Where were we?
RoG: Goddamnit, why does this always happen whenever I bring up our
This strip has me baffled. Why was the cop accusing the kid of being a
car? Was the kid impersonating a car earlier on? And even if he was, why
would it be illegal to do so?
Pjalne: According to Arizona law, it IS illegal to impersonate a
car, but I'm with you on this one. This kid looks nothing like a car.
Another thing I'm not too sure about is what a 'helmet eye protector' is.
RoG: I think that's what those
Lazer Tag helmets were. So if you
want to impersonate a car, you have to wear a Lazer Tag helmet while doing
it. But they're pretty hazy on the "permission slip" details in this one. Who can
and can't give you permission slips?
Pjalne: Looks like you get them from cops who pull you over for not
having one. They know who to pull over because the ones who haven't
already got one apparently wear gray shirts, whereas people who
permission slips wear white shirts.
RoG: It sure is a good thing we're reviewing these comics... people really
would be confused without our aid.
This sure does look like a fly party, RoG. These kids know how to
RoG: You've gotta fight... for your right... to
Pjalne: You do indeed. And these guys have fought a hard battle
tonight, just look at the weariness in their eyes.
RoG: I like how they all just stay there at the party waiting to be
busted, whereas in
real life, everybody would be running out the back door as soon as the
Pjalne: They've obviously all been to lawforkids.org and know when
to submit to the law. And the lawmen obviously know how to get down with
the next generation; they were considerate enough to wear their festive
jester hats to the bust to keep the mood up.
RoG: Somebody must have got the munchies and ate the bells off of
them. :( But I'm sure they'll cover "the munchies" in a future episode of
"Law Stripz" dude!
Pjalne: I'm positive they will, dawg. Because we all know it's
against Arizona law to purchase tacos while under the influence.
RoG: Under the influence of lawforkids.org?
Pjalne: Yes, let's go with that. I wouldn't know any other form of
being under the influence no sir.
Now wait, it's ok to be underage and smoking, but it's not ok to be out
past curfew... is that what they're trying to say here?
Pjalne: Sure looks like it. But I'd stay off the smokes anyway, I'm
not taking any chances when the dark silhouette of a levitating cop is out
to strike fear into the hearts of evil-doers and have his dog shit.
RoG: So when you're arrested in the future, you go home with the
cop rather than to jail? What do you do when you get to his house then?
Pjalne: The world isn't ready to know, Roger.
RoG: You're probably right, and since the entire world visits this
web site, we had better just keep the truth to ourselves.
Pjalne: Someday, Roger. Someday.
Ok, there's a lot of problems with this one. Just look at the guy in the
chair... what the hell is wrong with his neck?
Pjalne: That's Webmaster's Disease. Too many stressful hours
hunched over in front of a computer. There's a 40% risk we'll both suffer
from it when we hit 35.
RoG: Well what about the fact that the guy ends up looking exactly
like a young Hank Hill from "King of the Hill" at the end of the strip?
Pjalne: Damn, you're right. That would explain why Mr. Hill ended
up as a poor redneck. This is an important message: stay in school or
you'll end up uneducated and dumb like Hank Hill.
RoG: Hey, he's edjumcated, he sells propane!
Pjalne: He does? It's been a while. Then I guess the message is
'Stay in school or end up being cancelled after one year on a Norwegian
television channel like Hank Hill.' What intrigues me more is the sign at
principal Blofeld's desk. Why would it be turned the wrong way?
RoG: He likes to reassure himself of his position. Actually, I
think it's one of those double-sided signs. The other side probably reads
"Boob Inspector" or "Fart Machine" or something else absolutely
hilarious like that.
Pjalne: You know, I bet you're right. Well, Hank 'Tommy' Hill sure
got his until his hat fit, as we say in Norway. He learned his lesson, and
so have we today. How has this changed YOUR life, RoG?
RoG: In ways that you'll never know. Actually, it has inspired me
to do some Law Stripz of my own! Whaddaya say we create some?
Pjalne: It's half past two in the morning here and I've still got a
twenty-minute walk home in freezing weather. Sure, let's go! Oh, I've only got MSPaint, by the way. This is gonna turn
RoG: I'm scared to see what those will look like. At least I've got
Photoshop so these people can watch a true master at work, X.
So, what's the artist's intent in this one?
RoG: I'm disappointed in you man... after all of these Law Stripz
that we've gone through today, I would think you'd AT LEAST be able to get
the meaning of this one.
Pjalne: Is the bread thing a metaphor for a vagina? Cause if it
isn't, I got nothing.
RoG: Bread thing??? You mean they don't have BAGELS in your country!?
Pjalne: I already told you what our food is like in
last piece. You think 'bagels' would go with THAT?
RoG: I'd eat pretty much anything to offset the taste of that nasty
shit. I'd rather drink turpentine in all honesty.
How is this one a lesson about the law? It looks more like a recollection
of your own personal experiences, only you didn't die in the car race.
Pjalne: No sirre Bob I did not. I even scored Ms. Ali's autograph,
only she was a Swedish soap actress who eventually turned out to be some
lady who had come to sell me wrinkle cream. I thought it needed a little
extra oomph, so I took some liberties in the name of entertainment.
RoG: And that wrinkle cream is what you saw spread on that bagel in
the previous comic. I bet you thought it was cream cheese this whole time!
Pjalne: Oh my god, it's all connected!
RoG: And speaking of connected, check out my next strip:
I liked how you tricked people into believing this one would have a
coherent storyline by having two related panels, and then you kicked them
in the face by the Magnola-esqe montage.
RoG: A feeble mind such as yours would think that... but if you
inspect the comic a bit closer, it's obvious that all of the frames are
Pjalne: Oh my god, you're right. Wham were gay, and so are French
people. And beef jerky is... hmmm... jerky is... And green testicles is a
metaphor for gay virgins, and I've seen that guy somewhere and he may be
RoG: Eh, close enough.
I haven't seen the movie 'Ghost' in a long time, but from what I remember
of it, this comic of yours is far superior.
Pjalne: Thank you. I decided to keep the best aspects of it (Vinnie
Schiavelli ghost) and got rid of all the Demi Moore bits and the parts
where Whoopi was doing transcendental slapstick.
RoG: But she's got an "edgy" new show that's really making the
censors uh... go on coffee breaks. But yeah, Vinnie Schiavelli is a great
character. Especially when he talks about how he'd kill for just one drag.
He says it like "Draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag!"
Pjalne: I know. "Draaaaaaaaaaaag!" And he looks a hell of a lot
like Gregory Hines, only white and... well, let's just say that one of
them is a ghost in real life and one isn't and it isn't Vincent.
Wow, that's like you took all the best bits in an action movie and threw
it all together for maximum impact and an orgasm in entertainment!
RoG: Why thank you, and there's an important message behind it all
too. Did you get it?
Pjalne: I almost had it :(
RoG: It's simple: Only YOU can prevent all of those horrible
things. And if you don't, people will continue to punch Butterbean. Poor
Pjalne: Well, you know, sometimes things can stare you straight in
the face and somehow you still don't see it.
RoG: I think that's pretty much how all of the Law Stripz work, the
answer is right in front of our eyes, but they leave it up to us to
interpret the messages properly.
Pjalne: And THAT's the true magic of Law Stripz. Well, it's
disastrously late, and I better get started on my long travel across the
tundra. Its been great working with you, Rog. Any parting words?
RoG: Same to you Pjalne, it's been a pleasure. And I have to say, I
think we've both learned some valuable lessons here today. But in the
spirit of the Law Stripz, let's leave it up to the readers out there to
figure out what those lessons were, shall we?
Pjalne: We sure shall. Good evening to you.
To all of you aching for more educational fun, be sure to check out all of
Flash Toons at lawforkids.org too. I've never heard worse
voice-acting in my entire life... you'll see what I mean. And even
better, they stoop so low as to brand people in wheelchairs as petty thieves.
Now do you see how much fun learning can really be kids? Excellent.
CONTEST HAS ENDED.
CLICK HERE TO SEE THE RESULTS!
chance to show us just what you've learned today! Email us your own original Law Stripz comic strips. You must use
the Law Stripz artwork as part of your comics. All entries will be judged
on humor. So basically the funniest entry will win. You've got until
December 7th, 2003 to turn in your
entries! Once the contest has ended, myself and other staff members will
decide which one is the winner and that person will receive a free
I-Mockery Club Pack #4 and some stickers of their choice.
As with our
previous contests, all entries will be displayed here on the site for
everybody to enjoy! So come up with the craziest, funniest, and most
twisted Law Stripz you can think of and send them on over to us! Please
keep in mind, entries must be sent in one of the following formats:
.GIF, .JPG, .BMP, or .SWF
CONTEST HAS ENDED.
CLICK HERE TO SEE THE RESULTS!
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