Please don't feed PickleMan
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NINTENDO - the good, the bad, and the ugly.
by: -RoG-

Hey ladies, now YOU can sleep with Mario!
Super Mario Bros. Sheets & Pillowcase!

We all know what every woman on earth dreams of. No, it's not sleeping with Johnny Depp, it's sleeping with a fat plumber named Mario. I kinda wish I had these stupid pillows though. You see, one night when I was about 13, I woke up in the middle of the night with a blood clot in my mouth. I was bleeding like crazy and my pillow was literally drenched in blood. I can only imagine how awesome it would have looked if it was one of these Mario pillows. Can't you just picture a huge blood stain right where Mario is punching the Goomba on that pillowcase? It would be as if the happy, innocent world of Super Mario Bros. was turned into a brutal display of Koopa blood and Goomba carnage.

Ah well, I guess I'll have to stick with the memory of bleeding all over my Rainbow Brite pillow instead. Er, wait! Did I say Rainbow Brite? I was just kidding, no really. Pretend you didn't read that. I had G.I. Joe pillows! Yeah that's it! YO JOE!! Goddamnit, I didn't have Rainbow Brite pillows! I'm a tough, rugged, manly man! Really!!

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