Another
product that someone sent me that I now wish I never knew existed would
have to be Super Mario Cologne which came in a classy plastic bottle. Why anybody would want to smell like Mario
is beyond me. We've all seen Captain Lou Albano dressed up as Mario, and I
don't think any of us ever thought, "You know, I bet he smells damned
good. So damned good that I wish I could smell just like him. Say, wait a
second. Super Mario... smelling good... HOLY SHIT I'VE GOT IT! I SHALL
MAKE SUPER MARIO COLOGNE!" Well, somebody did, only it's called "Colonia"
on the label. So either it was only sold in foreign countries with
extremely low standards for controlling body odor, or this stuff came
straight from Captain Lou Albano's colon. Another mystery that will
unfortunately remain unsolved...