Please don't feed PickleMan
Please don't feed PickleMan
About Us Store Advertising Contact New to I-Mockery? Register an account and join in the pickled fun! New to I-Mockery? Register an account and join in the pickled fun!

NINTENDO - the good, the bad, and the ugly.
by: -RoG-

Nintendo Game Packs!

Within these wax packages was gaming wisdom that no kid previously ever had access to. Ok, that's not really true at all. All of the "secret tips" on these cards were either completely obvious or had already been written about in Nintendo Power (which any kid in his right mind already had a subscription to). So what was in it for those of us who weren't looking for secrets from the Nintendo gods?

What, no scratch 'n sniff?
"Scratch and Win" Game Cards

Actually, they should really be called "Scratch and Nap" Game Cards, because you don't really win anything. Well, if you consider luckily scratching off enough spots to kill Mouser from SMB2 before dying to be "winning something", then more power to ya. So basically, us kids were shelling out plenty o' money to gamble in a game that promised no real earnings whatsoever. They let this shit fly, yet we weren't allowed to gamble in casinos? Which one is the real crime here folks?


Apparently some people complained about buying the cards only to discover you couldn't actually win anything. Just look at the little disclaimer they later added to the bottom of all the packs: "THIS PRODUCT IS FOR FUN - NO PRIZES AWARDED." And what fun it was. It was a big plate of fun. It was a big plate of fun with a side of fun sauce to dip your fun in. FUN!


At least Nintendo finally wised up and released something actually useful. Now us kids could walk into biker bars and show off our tough-guy tattoos, such as Link on a raft or Mario making a peace symbol. Seriously though, they were pretty cool and they even came with the infamous Topps chewing gum that always appears to have been aged a solid 50 years or so. I still need to buy a box of these off eBay, for when I do, these tattoos will cover every inch of my body. Mark my words.

help support I-Mockery by supporting our sponsors:

Running a big site like I-Mockery takes a lot o' time and costs moola too.
Want to help show your support?


Come talk about this piece & more on our Message Forums!

click here for more minimocks!