Worlds Of Power
were pretty awful. They were stories that were loosely based on the actual
NES video games. And when I say "loosely" I mean "hanging on by by a
thread in gale force winds." It's as if the authors of these books set out
to destroy everything that was good and pure about our favorite video
games. Just look at this excerpt from the Castlevania II: Simon's Quest
SEVEN: "Ghouls Just Want To Have Fun"
Tim Bradley lifted the sword that Simon had given him just after they'd
arrived at the inn. He would have preferred a gun. However, Simon Belmont
had informed him not only of the fact that there were no guns in
Castlevania, but that even if they were imported from another dimension,
they wouldn't work here. Gunpowder didn't explode in Castlevania. "Things
work on magical principles here, Timothy," Simon had explained. "And also
on the moral laws of good and evil. This is why I am very good, and
Dracula is very bad."
Did you feel
your brain dying with each word you read? I know I did. My brain was
hurting so bad after reading that chapter that it wanted to grow arms just
so it could rip out my eyes to prevent me from ever reading another
"Worlds of Power" book again.
It's quite clear that they weren't talking about the Worlds of Power
books when they made all those celebrity "READ" posters.
help support I-Mockery by supporting our sponsors:
Running a big site like I-Mockery takes a lot o' time and costs moola
Want to help show
DONATE TO OUR ZOMBIE MOVIE!
Come talk about this piece & more on our Message Forums!
click here for more minimocks!