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G.I. Joe: The Lost Public Service Announcements
by: -RoG-

I'm sure many of you learned some valuable lessons from the lost G.I. Joe Public Service Announcements that were never aired that I put up last time. Being a guy that wants to help make the world a better place, I've taken the time to uncover some more of these informative Public Service Announcements from the G.I. Joe cartoon that were thought to be lost. Enjoy:

"If there's no food in sight, try eating pencils for nourishment."

"In case of an irregular arm spasm, try dousing it with a cup of water."

"Viper Beach is the most happening beach in California."

"Learn to smack your bitch up."

"It is customary for big Native Americans to greet you by grabbing their crotch."

"Although metal masks may look neat, they tend to cause migrains."

"Cowboys pay top dollar for prostitutes with huge gozongas."

"If a career in global domination doesn't work out, make plans
for an alternate career, such as becoming the local weatherman."

"Many women feel threatened by large punchbowls and may
react with violence when in close vicinity of one."

"People who engage in a threesome always get caught."

"It's very fashionable for an evil tyrant to wear a pink cape."

"Salad will one day rise up against humans and kill us all."

"Before you are allowed to have a real penis,
you will be issued a training penis."

"Laugh at elderly farmers because they're in the middle of
nowhere and can't stop you from taking over their land."

"If you had an abusive father, just remember that you'll have a chance
to get even with him later in life when he's an old wrinkly bastard."

"Parrots can help you take a nurse hostage."

"Some women in uniform are friendlier than others."

"Train your kids to use a bazooka. They might need it in an emergency."

"When grandpa yells at random things like a fire,
it's not because he's really mad at them...
it's because he's lost his mind."

"DO NOT let a doctor operate on you while
he's still wearing his sunglasses."

"Contrary to popular belief, if you stay in a car for
too long during the summer, you will melt."

"If you want to shut up a kid, buy 'em something
completely useless like a stuffed cat."

"It's hard to get people to join in a ho'down."

"Dogs hate dumb honkeys."

"If you can't afford the local amusement park's ticket
price, try catching a ride inside a tornado."

So there you have it. I hope you've all learned some valuable lessons today. I'll do my best to hunt down more of these lost PSA's. But before I go... how could I possibly leave you without saying that classic phrase:

Now you know... and knowing is half the battle!

Click Here To See Part 3 Of The Lost PSA's!

Click Here To See The Original Lost PSA's!

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