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G.I. Joe: The Lost Public Service Announcements
by: -RoG-

Since so many of you benefited from the G.I. Joe's lost public service announcements that I shared last time, I've tracked down even more of these rare informative nuggets. Read and be safe, kids!

"If your bike gets stolen, it's most likely at the Alamo... in the basement."

"When all hope is lost, polar bears can turn the tides in a battle."

"Bald eagles have total disregard for humans. Kill them."

"Always check under a table before you sit at it.
Starving children, armed with knives, often dwell in such places."

"Some angry chefs won't just spit in your food, they'll pummel your ass."

"The only proper place to take a crap at a sporting event is under the bleachers."

"The best place to check for a pulse is in the crotch region."

"'Death Zone' signs are government jokes. Ignore their warnings and proceed."

"Apparently, some foods can make your head shrink."

"Dogs lick their masters right before they eat them."

"Even eels need a hug now and then."

"Sometimes it is necessary to drag obese people away from the kitchen."

"Elderly people who complain too much will be taken out to sea and drowned."

"Nothing says 'sexy' like an eye-patch."

"Jet pilots are notorious for losing their keys."

"Holding hands during a fire will prevent your body from being burned to a crisp."

"Ninja get all the ladies."

"Ninja also maintain strong bones by drinking milk."

"Drunken sailors can't do push-ups."

"During their spare time, some soldiers practice making shadow puppets."

"If you have a moustache, have a friend help out by tearing it off.
They're not in style."

"Shooting skeletons with lasers won't hurt them..."

"...nor will it stop them from getting the nookie they so greatly desire."

"Word on the street is that snowstorms are cold."

"Soaking your hands in urine will keep them silky soft."

"In case you didn't know, the economy is fucked."

"Killer whales are coming ashore and plan on living up to their names."

"A sandstorm is no place for auto-erotic asphyxiation."

Once again, I feel as though I've helped provide you with invaluable information that will help you get through life unscathed. As always...

Now you know... and knowing is half the battle!

Click Here To See The Previous Lost PSA's!

Click Here To See The Original Lost PSA's!

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