The scarecrow goes for his signature submission hold, but then realizes
that he should be mixing it up a bit so that the audience doesn't get
bored. Well it's much too late for that, but he does toss Ray across the
room, and Ray gets an idea:
He grabs an open flask of acid from the shelf. I don't remember any
hospitals that keep shelves of acid in the triage room. Maybe it's for
emergency wart removal. Whatever it's for, Dr. Ray has thought up another
use: scarecrow removal! It might have worked too, if only the scarecrow
hadn't caught on and wrestled the flask out of Ray's hand and smashed it
over his head.
Oh, burned!
This time, the screaming is loud enough to get the attention of our brave
college students. They've finally learned their lesson about splitting up,
and so they all head out to the triage room to get the AED, pushing Sam
along with them. Hmm, let's see: No doctors, no nurses, and no power. I'd
say their chances of saving Sam are about 1 in 0.
I didn't think they would even find the room, since there's no light in
the hallway and the door is probably covered by yet another sheet, but
sure enough, they do. Heck, they even find Ray.
Ray tries to get Beth's attention, and then he tries to roll into the
light so you can see how badly burned he is, but he fails at both acts.
Beth screams, scarecrow grabs Mike, blah blah blah, seen it a dozen times
already. When the scarecrow goes after Beth, however, Jack grabs the AED
and prepares for a showdown:
Unlike the regular defibrillator, this portable AED doesn't need time to
recharge in between jolts, so Jack is able to make several quick strikes
against the scarecrow. The jolts cause Sam to tense up in his gurney,
which leads me to strongly believe that he and the scarecrow might be
linked in a way I don't yet understand. Finally, Jack grips the paddles
tightly and gives the scarecrow one last extra-long shock from the AED,
and this time, the scarecrow goes down for the count, and Sam pops awake
once more. Good job Jack, now DON'T TELL HIM THAT HE KILLED EVERYBODY
AGAIN!!!
"Three weeks later"
Sam is now a hit with the ladies. I guess word of him being only one of
two people to survive the hazing debacle has made him the Big Waif on
Campus. Jack and Beth are still together. Yep, things are certainly look
up for...
What? Oh, come on, that guy was dead! Wasn't he? And now he just has a
sprained wrist? I'll let Coach sum it up for you:
"Well, sometimes you get caught in a rundown and the other team
bobbles
the ball. I thought I was dead, but I was just unconscious."
... Yeah, that happens sometimes. Coach announces that he's leaving the
school to coach a AAA team in Atlanta. The good news just keeps coming, as
now Mike, the former asshole jock, is now as kind as can be to Sam. It's
the kind of kindness that can only come from knowing you barely escaped
being killed by someone you tormented. What's more, he offers Sam a
psychology paper that he got an A- on. Yeah, Mike probably wrote that
paper himself. Mike also agrees to "party" with Sam. Finally, they
uncorked Beth's bottle of champagne and have a toast. A toast to "being
alive." Well, I've heard worse reasons to drink.
Hours later, Mike is waiting for Sam so they can go to that party they
were talking about, when suddenly, he hears whistling. The scarecrow? No,
just Sam with another cheap scare. Before leaving for the party, they duck
into the bathroom so Sam can give himself another insulin shot. As you can
see by the "CSI lab" lighting in the school, this movie ain't over yet.
Sam stabs Mike in the chest with his insulin-filled syringe. I learned
that insulin is apparently lethal when injected into the chest, so thank
you, movie. As for poor Mike, characters that act like dickheads are bound
to get killed at some point. He just had an unusually long run. Was Sam
just getting that pent-up, "you almost killed me!" rage out of his system?
Nope. He's just been possessed by the spirit of the scarecrow. Or is that
the spirit of that dead kid from the legend?
Jack and Beth half walk, half make-out, their way into the gym to say
goodbye to Coach before he hops on his flight. They can't find him
anywhere, so they switch over to full-on making out on the exercise
equipment. In the course of their out-making, Beth brushes up against a
punching bag...
Oh, there he is. Hey Coach, how's it going? Coach? Are you unconscious
again? Did you sprain your ankle this time? No, you're dead for good?
Sorry to hear that. Time for more screaming and running, this time to the
basketball court.
They see that Mike went and got himself dunked. They encounter Sam, who's
grinning as evilly as he can. Jack doesn't get it, but Beth redirects his
attention to a mirror, and the story becomes clear. Sam gives them a
little head start before walking after them.
Thankfully, the chapel is open all hours of the day. It's not staffed, but
it is open. They try all the doors to see if any are unlocked, but they
don't even consider locking the door they just came through. As such, they
have just enough time to cry, and kiss, and speculate as to why this is
happening before Sam comes in.
He runs up to Jack, and Jack comes out swinging. He's doing alright
against the possessed Sam until...
Sam gets him with the ol' electrocution move. That'll teach Jack not to
defibrillate people. The battle wages on, with Jack punching and kicking
as best he can, and Sam just keeps shocking him. But Jack thinks on his
feet, and soon he has a foolproof plan:
He... shocks him back? I don't know what exactly happens here, but
somehow, Jack manages to take the scarecrow's spirit into his body (as
shown by the reflection). He knows what he must do.
Before he loses control of himself, Jack impales himself on a crucifix
that didn't seem altogether sharp, but was apparently sharp enough to go
right through his sternum. Both Beth and Sam are shocked by this turn of
events, and they weep for poor Jack. Don't worry, he's hamming it up in
heaven now. Sam takes one last look at the mirror to reassure everyone
that the scarecrow didn't magically switch back over to him, and then the
credits roll.
Wow, what a movie. It had everything: bad actors, bad special effects,
even bad locations! It even had a lesson: "You break your word, you invite
the devil." That hour-and-a-half just blew by.
The DVD also included a behind-the-scenes look at the film. It features
interviews with the cast and crew, though it does not contain an apology
from Brian Katkin for creating such a piece of crap movie. My favorite
part, though, was the interview with the special effects guy. He states
that, "every good horror show needs some good effects," and that explains
why this movie had such bad effects. He shows off the crummy faux
entrails, and reveals that they made a fake kidney out of a condom:
Note the reservoir tip.
The actor who played Mike also explains that the syringe he got stabbed
with was full of air, and not insulin. Thank god he explained that; I
would've hated to think that there was a part of this movie that didn't
make any sense.
And that's all. A few of the actors claimed to love horror films, and yet
they had no qualms about being in a movie like this. Weird. For me, the
scariest part of the whole movie came during the behind-the-scenes
feature, where "Mike" explains that this movie is the third of the
"scarecrow trilogy". Could the first two movies possibly be as bad as this
one? I hope I don't live to find out.
