Gotta get this one
out of the way first - it's probably the most well-known
unintentional sexual moment in classic videogames. "Ring King" for
the NES started out as just an average boxing game. You begin by
training for fighter in power, speed, and stamina. After that it's
into the ring you go for your first round of good ol' button-mashing
fisticuffs. And that's when it all starts to go downhill.
"May I have this dance?"
Whenever you get
too close to your opponent, you start to hug up on each other real
close and do a little dance. I like to think of this as their way of
turning each other on before the real action begins. A little
foreplay if you will. Well boys, it was a really well-fought (and
well-danced) round, now what say you two head on over to your
corners for...
ORAL SEX?
I thought boxing
was all about "the eye of the tiger" not the "one-eyed
monster", but apparently I was wrong. In between rounds, both
boxers are treated to a lil' wobble-gobble. I mean, there's really
no other reason for those assistants to be down there, moving like
that. Normally, the assistants will hold a bucket for the boxers to
spit in or replace their mouthpieces or what have you. But no, these
fellows have become the mouthpieces. I have a hard time
believing that this was unintentionally sexual... it's downright
blatant if you ask me. The censors must have been drinking pretty
fucking heavily the day they let this one slip by. But I'm no
ringside announcer by any means, so let's see what they make of the
situation.
Well there you have
it. If the ringside announcers think the boxers are getting
blowjobs, then it's gotta be true. And just look at how excited some
fans are:
"WEEEEE HEEEE!"
Dancing in the
ring, blowjobs in the corners, people in the crowd jerking off...
man, boxing sure was different back in the 80's. Nowadays it's all
just a bunch of rough sex involving biting, but back then it was
something pure. Let's never forget that.
