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Sexual Moments in Video Game History

Not to be confused with teenage mammal nice chipmunks.
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES II
THE ARCADE GAME!

Ok ladies, what is it that you find so appealing about slimy green mutated turtles? Oh right, I forgot... NOTHING. Well, apparently there's always someone with a fetish for just about anything out there, and April O'Neal happens to dig the turtle schlong when it pokes out from within its shell.

ACTION PACKED!

Unfortunately for the turtles, she's once again found herself into the hands of the foot clan (hmm, I guess their fetish is for feet?) and now she needs to be rescued. Even worse, the Shredder seems to have turned April over to one of his mutated minions: Baxter Stockman.

Damnit Baxter!

Baxter always creeped me out. Something about him just never sat right with me.

Yay, you saved her from the fly rapist guy. :o

Well anyway, Baxter is a relatively easy boss to defeat. You just keep jumping in the air while attacking him and he eventually kicks the bucket. Should you be low on energy, there's a piece of pizza on the ground so you can restore all of your health. Doesn't get much easier than that folks. On a side note, try playing through this game and see how many advertisements there are for "Pizza Hut" in it... you'll be astounded. So anyway, you rescue April and... holy shit!

Puffer fish likes her puffers. lol :(

It appears that she has mutated too! Look at the size of her boobs. Those things are way out of proportion with the rest of her body... not to mention if you scroll up and look at the previous pics of her, it's clear that her boobs weren't that big. What did that mad scientist Baxter do to her!? Ah well, at least she's safe in turtle hands now. Guess it's time to collect your reward, Donatello.

Barry White... he can even help get a mutant turtle laid.

You can only guess what happens next.

If this van's a rockin... well, it probably needs a tune-up.

Yep, the van starts a rockin' and it's pretty obvious what's going on in there.

Is it me or is he not enjoying himself?

Christ April... you already fucked him, isn't that payment enough?