In the world of
console games, Battletoads has the distinction of being one of the
most difficult games of all time. The oft-overlooked arcade version,
however, is far less difficult, but far more violent. It had guns,
blood sprays, decapitations, vomiting, and one of the greatest
brawling attacks of all time.
In every
button-mashing, beat-em-up game, you’re pretty much obligated to
fight one really huge guy who does a lot of damage with a single
blow. In this case, the huge guy was a really ripped rat with a
deep, menacing laugh. Theoretically, you could jump up and kick him
in the head, or just work his knees until he bent down to an
appropriate level, but the designers had something a little more
brutal in mind…
Simply put, you
grab ahold of the muscular ratman’s groin, and he lets out a
startled yelp, as any man would in a similar situation. Balls in
hand, you then start hammering his punching bag until he falls over.
Just look at this vicious assault on the poor rodent’s crotch.
Oh lordy. Rest
assured that just like the black guy form Kung Fu, the ratman
eventually dies after you finish pounding his scrote into Figgie
Pudding. And what better way to celebrate such a sociopathic victory
than with a couple pelvic thrusts?
Booya, evil. Booya!
Seriously, though, what other game can boast that it actually has a
crotch-grabbing maneuver, aside from Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker?
None, that’s how many.
