GOURMET SENTAI BARA YAROU!
Gourmet Sentai Bara Yarou is a bit of an odd duck. But then again,
it was only meant to be released in Japan, the country of
tentacle-rape ducks, so one shouldn't be too surprised.
What the game is about, nobody knows. There's an intro featuring mad
scientists, human-gro pods and Playboy bunnies, but it muddles more
than it clarifies. It's a good thing, then, that the gameplay is
pretty much identical to your average Double Dragon knock-em-out.
But while the Lee brothers only had to deal with punks and raging
body-builders, the three heroes of Gorumet have to fight off every
reject of nature and science you could possibly think of. For
Mr. Cock Rocket. This guy will come crashing down with his explosive
manhood and rock your face apart.
Robot Tanuki is inspired by a Japanese mythological creature famous
for its virility and monstrous penis. This guy was the inspiration
for Tanooki Mario from SMB 3, only we were spared the two-foot
schlong trailing between the plumber's legs. Or were we?
This guy has a... well, I don't really have to tell you what he has,
do I? Instead, let me show you what he does with it:
Too hot for television!
And finally there are the tiny little guys riding floating robot
heads. How do floating robot heads attack, you ask?
By GIVING floating robot head, of course.
Boy, it's a good thing you've got a robot chef who can fix you some
salad after all that abuse. Did I mention this game seems to be
about beating people up to get ingredients for dinner? Shouldn't be
too surprising at this point.