skin crawls up over their heads and they mutate.
they mutate, the two freaks start wrestling each other in a way that I did
not enjoy. Better still, the director says that his sound guy told him
that this scene made him sick. Indeed, watching two mutants paw each other
while listening to the sounds of someone stirring a vat full of squished
slugs isn't for everyone. Afterwards, Eddie wakes up, back to normal, and
gets the hell out of there.
is that he escapes to, another parking lot perhaps, he is accosted by
three punked out zombies. What do they want? To talk about stuff, and also
one of them shoves a knife through his hand. They taunt Eddie, saying that
he's becoming like them, and so on. Eddie breaks down, crouches, and spins
in a circle screaming until they disappear. Once he composes himself, he
races back to his car and calls the station. Apparently, they think he
killed a patrolman. How the blame got to him from the woman who actually
ran over the guy's head is beyond me.
Meanwhile, crap is amiss at the morgue. I'm trying to keep things moving,
This kid: dead meat.
This guy: dead meat.
During this sequence, you are privy to not one, not two, but three zombie
Write your own caption.
after a few more head games, Eddie is back on track again. This time, he's
looking for Squeaky. What he finds first, however, is a bathtub full of
garbage and cranberry juice.
that's great. What does it have to do with anything? Nothing, that's what.
from early in the movie dispatches these guys to get Eddie. Why we get two
minutes of them driving and yelling, I don't know, but hey, I'm no
director. Maybe the best way to convince the audience that your characters
are crazy is to show them whoopin' and hollerin' for as long as possible.
Squeaky. O.D.'d on the drug that makes you into an undead weirdo. There's
no time to mourn the death of this secondary character, however, as the
party animals have arrived.
that the drug will finish him off, the cauliflower-faced zombie puts two
in Squeaky's chest. One of the other henchman laughs, so the lead zombie
shoots him in the face, which proves to be enough of a distraction for
Eddie to escape. And that's why zombies don't make good errand boys.
pointless bit, the zombie that was shot in the face exits the building and
walks into a pole. No comment from the director here, either.
The other three zombies chase Eddie for the longest time, until he makes
the mistake of getting off the street and trying to hide without first
getting out of sight of the zombies. And now it's time for Eddie to take a
trip to see the evil leader of the zombies.
fat guy introduces himself as the drug dealer from the very beginning of
the film (the one giving away free head-blasting drugs), and outlines his
plan for Eddie's benefit. Then, he baits him with more vague hints about
Eddie's condition, and frankly, I could care less. They throw him in cell
to await his "transformation."
almost immediately, however, by luring the guard into his cell and
whacking him with a hammer he finds on the ground. Again, zombies are not
the best choice for tasks that require you to be smart enough to not enter
a prisoner's cell just because he stepped to the side of the door.
As it turns
out, Mike is in one of the other cells, and he's seen better days. They
shot him full of Ozone, and instead of causing his head to explode, the
drug just causes him to lactate out of his mouth. He fills Eddie in on the
details of his milk-spewing condition, saying that he's been set up to
become more like the drug dealing lard monster. He then asks Eddie to kill
him, but Eddie's a busy man, and doesn't want any of Mike's milk to get on
in another one of the cells. Hell, this place is party central! She is
delighted that Eddie "came for the birth." Suffice to say, she does, and
no, I absolutely will not illustrate the process. Here is the end result:
He may be
ugly, but he's not more than ten seconds out of the womb and he can
already say "daddy." That little mutant is going to grow up to be a big
friggin' mutant genius. Once again, no explanation whatsoever from the
director regarding this scene.
Thoroughly weirded out and disgusted, Eddie heads back to the drug dealer
and his shadowed nether regions for a showdown.
Unfortunately, neither his bullets nor his cheesy one-liners have any
effect on the drug dealer, and Richter steps in before he can think of
anything else to do.
take his gun or anything, Richter just walks over and stands next to his
boss, possibly so he can get in a better position to spew out idle threats
and foretell Eddie's "transformation" some more. Whatever the reason,
Eddie takes another shot at the drug dealer, and even though it's been
established that these two are all but immune to physical harm, Richter
still ducks out of the way of the bullet.
away, but is soon grappling with the chunky-faced zombie from before.
Richter comes running in and draws a bead on him, but doesn't quite draw
it fast enough, and Eddie is able to beat up puffyface and dive into the
"ammo room" before Richter does anything.
the commentary, the director thought that, looking back, the "ammo room"
sign was a bit much. No shite, Sherlock. Especially since the room
contains only a six-shooter, a few bundles of dynamite, a chunk of circuit
board with an LCD (which, by the way, is supposedly a time both of sorts),
and other assorted junk. No actual ammo, though, unless you count what's
inside the gun. Speaking of the solitary gun, Eddie discards his own
weapon in favor of this gun. Don't ask me why. He doesn't even fire the
gun for the rest of the movie. He does, however, light and throw one of
the bundles of dynamite at the door to stop the two rampaging zombies.
explodes open, and the two thugs are tossed onto piles of garbage.
Richter, though, he's tenacious. He gets right back up and starts
wrestling around with Eddie.
For a little
bit, Eddie's doing alright, but then he gets the old knee-in-the-groin.
Richter tosses him aside and mutates, for some reason.
really starting to wonder about this whole "zombie" thing. Blue mutant
Richter does a little better, but in the end, Eddie knocks him down and
slams his head in the "ammo room" door until he quits moving. With two
minor victories under his belt, Eddie feels confident enough to go see the
drug dealer again.
dealer tells him, again, that he is impervious to harm, but Eddie just
quips at him, so the fat bastard pulls out a knife and cuts his own
stomach open, thus proving that he is immune to both bullets and steak
knives. Seeing this unusual display as an opportunity, Eddie rushes
forward, pistol whips the fatty, and crams the time bomb into his gaping
wound. With that done, Eddie runs for the exit, tossing the remaining
bundles of dynamite along as he flees.
goes off and triggers a chain reaction orange-tinted, computer-generated
explosions that destroy the building. Good job, Eddie. And here, I thought
that you'd need to arrange explosive charges in some specific way to do
that, but I guess you showed me a thing or two about demolitions.
scene is Eddie being interrogated at the police station. Apparently, in
addition to the beat cop that he "killed," he also killed thirty-four
other people. I guess they were all zombies killed in the explosion.
Whoever they are, or were, Eddie just quips and quips, trying to say as
many trite action phrases before the credits. He eventually stops the
schtick and tries to explain that they were monsters, but something is
Richter! And his head is back to normal! What a trooper! He remarks that
Eddie shouldn't talk that way about his family, and that he'll come
around. Then he laughs, and that's the end of the movie.
There's not much else to say. The credits roll, the director spits out his
last boring story, and that's it. There were a few more tidbits covered in
the commentary that I wanted to point out, though. For starters, the very
first line by the director is him angrily proclaiming that "this movie is
not called fucking Street Zombies, for God's sake," but it is really
called "Ozone." It makes sense when you think about it, as the zombies
were behaving very unzombie-like. Still, if I had mentioned that earlier,
you wouldn't have gotten the full Street Zombies/Ozone effect.
The director also mentions that the film cost $3500 to make. I know, I
know, I couldn't believe that such a visual masterpiece could be so
cheaply produced either. It turns out that the film came in on the budget
by using a second rate camera and not paying the cast and crew. That's
right; the people in the movie weren't even paid to waste their time
Speaking of time-wasting, I am now finished with this piece of crap movie.
God willing, the DVD will burst into flames the minute it enters the
Blockbuster drop box. I encourage no one to rent this movie, as every
rental sends money back to the publisher, and increases the chances of us
seeing Street Zombies (or Ozone, if you like) 2: More of Eddie's Weird
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