Vintage Halloween Cards: Part 2
by: -RoG-


I guess she couldn't see the immediate future in that cup of tea. If she could,
perhaps she could avoid the creepy cherub who's been stalking her.

Wallop a black cat for Halloween.
(this message approved by the Humane Society)

'Twould indeed... 'twould indeed.

It's like those two zombie pumpkins are just daring the little boy and his dog to
hop the fence and grab that healthy pumpkin. That's just downright horrifying.

See whatever letter you want lady... just keep that blade away from me.

It looked festive enough at first, but then it was set ablaze and took on a whole new meaning.

Death really doesn't know how to hold a cat comfortably.


No, I s'pose that's a coat rack and you're an idiot.

Pumpkin goblins sure of themselves some pancakes, eh?

That cat should look WAY more displeased considering he's being held by a NAKED PUMPKIN MAN.

Yes fun... because clearly these two are having nothing but fun.

Way to go Halloween greeting card maker! You've successfully taken all the romance out of serenading somebody.

I could care less about the Jack-O-Lantern... I'm more concerned about what will happen if the two little demons catch me.

Why are they stealing somebody's front gate? Why is one kid named "Jim" and the other named "Happy"?
We may never know.

Well, now we know why they were stealing it... they were stealing the Gate of Luck! Of course! Why
didn't I think of that! If there's one thing I like to do every Halloween, it's stealing gates from people's homes!

This man looks like he bobbed for a few too many apples. I think he's about to vomit.

Sure, Jack O' Lantern caught them kissing, what with the lipstick on the man's face 'n all...
but it also looks like he caught the guy copping a feel. Happy Halloween, fella!

Have any questions or comments about this piece?


If you enjoyed this piece, be sure to check out:

Vintage Halloween Cards: Part 1!


Vintage Halloween Cards: Part 3!

Reader Comments

grants but one wish
Oct 7th, 2008, 04:58 AM
it cant be a very lucky gate if people keep stealing it now can it?
Last of the Time Lords
Oct 7th, 2008, 05:55 AM
One time I had a fever and was on medication and I spent the day in bed reading a Little Nemo book.

The hallucinatory dreams I had were exactly like these cards.
Oct 7th, 2008, 06:35 AM
I often trip Scotsmen on Halloween.
Forum Virgin
Oct 7th, 2008, 07:33 AM
That bondage one was kinda hot...
Oct 7th, 2008, 07:42 AM
I loved the expression on Zombie Pumpkin boys face!
1.21 Gigawatts!!!
Oct 7th, 2008, 10:42 AM
I do not know why, but the “Wallop” cat reminds me of the Simpson’s cat Snowball (II).

The girl looks like she is burning a training bra on the coat rack. It must be a subliminal women’s lib card.

Naked pumpkin boy is just creepy!!!!

The guy behind the fence looks like he may be into leather or potentially bondage. Maybe he should hook up with the girl tied up eating apples.
Flying Finn
Oct 7th, 2008, 12:27 PM
Man oh man...spooky stuf, they sure where twisted back in the day.

You should definetly do an article on NAKED PUMPKIN MAN...now that would be something to read :D
Cell Regenerated Deadite
Oct 7th, 2008, 01:21 PM
Displayed are cards that nightmares are made of. Superb!
Oct 7th, 2008, 03:25 PM
i actually know the history behind alot of these cards! i just read a book called Death Makes A Holiday and it talks about halloween culture. but in particular that one were you talked about the girl picking out her make up or blush.... those are actually three bowls... here is the story:

"its a divination game involving three bowls, on emepty, one with clear water, and one with soapy water or dirt. The blindfolded player would approach the bowls and dip her or his fingers into one. The clear water represented a virginal mate, the cloudy water or dirt represented damaged goods, and the empty one was the barren fate of a spinster or bachelor."

amazing huh? im available for parties people.
Can't touch this
Oct 7th, 2008, 04:06 PM
Perhaps one of the two little demons in that one card is really Azazel, in which case you have nothing to worry about! Unless, of course, it's the Azazel from that movie "Fallen" and not Isaac Asimov's Azazel...
Ms. Sorghum Molasses '82
Oct 7th, 2008, 06:42 PM
Image 7

"It's a cute little hypercephalic kitten."

Oct 7th, 2008, 09:09 PM
While that cat with the oversized head is definitely creepier than any other character on the same card, it is still far away from surpassing the true evil that the naked pumpkin man is.
Oct 8th, 2008, 12:21 AM
Originally Posted by Sleazeappeal View Post
Image 7

"It's a cute little hypercephalic kitten."

not for this crowd, it ain't

none of the pumpkins look like the head of john muir, either
Forgets Passwords Easily
Oct 8th, 2008, 12:34 AM
that Scotsman is clearly being caught in the act with that pig.

And I like how the little girl's candle isn't reflected in the mirror even though her candle is clearly right in front of the training bra, as McFly classified it. You cannot change the laws of physics, Jim!

and I wish I was going as Naked Pumpkin Man for Halloween and hadn't spent all my money on being Scrooge McDuck. Maybe next year
Oct 8th, 2008, 01:33 AM
I, too, want a pumpkin with laser eyes for Hallowe'en.
Crazed Techno-Biologist
Oct 8th, 2008, 03:25 AM
some guy with makeup on his face feeling up a gal in the park? thats pretty filthy, even for todays standards.
good fer what ails ye.
Oct 9th, 2008, 06:24 PM
By today's standards, Naked pumpkin man should have a show on MTV.

Where he dates perverted, preferably hydrocephalic cats who go "Oh no you di'int girl"!
way too much.
good fer what ails ye.
Oct 9th, 2008, 06:27 PM
Also, N.P.M. should become a vital portion of this site during Hallow e'en time.
The Power of Grayskull
Oct 11th, 2008, 12:20 PM
Those playing cards on page 1 actually look pretty cool. I wouldn't mind having a set of those. Any clues on where to find them Rog?
Oct 14th, 2008, 07:41 PM
These guys are gonna distract me from midterms...maybe they'll scare the professor into not giving the midterms. I know they disturb me O_o
4 Eyes, No Brain.
Jul 11th, 2009, 06:40 PM
The 'Death really doesn't know how to hold a cat comfortably' one had me in hysterics. I agree with many of the posters in the fact that Naked Pumpkin Man should be a feature for Halloween '09.
The Grand Old n00b
Oct 25th, 2009, 01:55 AM
How friggin' diabolical are you to name your child Happy? That'll probably disturb the kid forever. No wonder he's become a gate-stealing delinquent.
Member OfThe Pigmask Army
Sep 21st, 2010, 12:32 AM
If I ever saw a Naked Pumpkin Man in my house, the first thing that would go through my mind would be a self-inflicted bullet.

Click here to return to the Features homepage