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For the
release of the new Superman movie, I told you about a whole mess of
Superman games that have come out
over the years. With that in mind, it's only natural that I give the
same treatment to the new Spiderman movie. I'm sorry; I mean the new
"Spider-Man" movie. Anyway, a problem arose, namely that for every
Superman game, there are around five or six Spider-Man games. In fact,
I believe the current number of Spider-Man games is fairly close to
the number of states in the US, and personally, I don't believe in
coincidences.
Indeed, as you've already seen earlier this week, the Spider-Man name
is so lucrative that young Peter Parker would've easily made enough
money by now to retire and leave crime fighting up to younger, bolder
superheroes, like Iron Man or the Punisher. Hell, he would have made
enough money to simply pay every criminal in New York to stop
committing crimes. That's really not his style, though. If he did wind
up paying off crooks, he'd probably do so while working in some kind
of awful wordplay, possibly about it being the only time crime
would pay.
I'm getting off topic here; the point is that Spider-Man has been in
quite a few video games. I was thinking about this just the other day
when I started wondering about what Spider-Man game is the best, or at
the very least, which one has brought the least amount of shame to the
franchise. Games based on comic book characters don't always flesh out
as neatly as we'd like, and games based on movies... I can't say that
there is any one Spider-Man game that stands out as the best in my
mind. One of the earlier games, however, did have a lot of elements
that weren't included in any previous games, and haven't been in any
others since. Which game bore the title of innovator of past and
present? None other than the Genesis game, The Amazing Spider-Man
vs. The Kingpin!
Guess who the main villain is. If you said "Dr. Doom," kill yourself.
The plot here is that the Kingpin has made a televised announcement
to... announce that Spider-Man has planted a bomb somewhere, and that
he's offering $10,000 to whomever can bring the webslinger to, let's
say, justice. Now, what are the odds that anyone would believe a
complete stranger when he tells them that one of the city's greatest
champions has gone and planted a bomb for some reason, and
furthermore, how many people are thick-headed enough to think that ten
grand is enough to try and take down a guy who regularly tangles with
super villains, often taking them on more than one at a time? Well,
you don't run into too many civilians, so I guess not that many. Or
maybe Spider-Man is just good at picking the quiet routes through the
city.
Anyway, whereas most bombs can only be defused by an explosives
expert, the bomb in question can only be defused by five color-coded
keys which, if you do the math, works out to one key per super
villain, except for the Kingpin himself, who despite engineering the
entire plan, still thought it best to entrust his underlings with the
bulk of his scheme. Not very Kingpin-ish if you ask me, but my belief
is still suspended, as if trapped in a spider's web.
It's all pretty standard fare for the most part, right down to the
awkward control scheme. However, there are a few little things that
set it apart from all the others:
Web shield
Spider-Man can do many wondrous things with his webbing. Usually,
these tricks take the form of lines, nets, or other spider-like
webbery. This game first introduced the novel idea of Spidey using his
webbing for something more direct, namely making a little buckler for
himself. It works fairly well, but for some reason, it can only take
three hits before it dissolves into useless spider goo. I thought they
made bulletproof vests with this stuff. Maybe he's just sloppy because
it's his first attempt.
Taking pictures
In the movies, Spider-Man shoots web fluid out of some tiny holes in
his wrists. However, in the comic book, Peter Parker built some nifty
mechanical webshooters and brewed up the web fluid himself like a meth
dealer. Also like a meth dealer, he had to get a day job as both a
cover and a source of funding for his other career. And so, he put two
and two together to combine his love of photography with his being a
superhero to come up with exclusive Spider-Man pics to cover his
living expenses, along with his photography stuff and supplies for
making his spider stuff. This game was the first to simulate Spidey's
delicate balance of career and super career, giving you the
opportunity to snap some photos and make enough money to restock your
web fluid in between stages. I wonder where he was keeping that camera
of his...
Peter's pad
Another weird thing you could do in the game was return to
Spider-Man's apartment. It's sparse decorated (though as you can see
in the picture, it's about as large as a normal apartment in New
York), but if you're injured, you can hang out there to recover your
health, so long as you don't mind having to go back through the stage
you left to go there. Also, to keep you from making a habit of this,
time would pass much faster while you were resting in the apartment,
so if you were just barely clinging to life, you'd be spending quite a
bit of time there. Still, it wasn't quite as much time as you'd lose
if it came down to the next item on our list:
Nabbed!
Rather than kill Spider-Man outright, his enemies, both super and
otherwise, were content to simply render him unconscious and deliver
him to the authorities. I'd expect this kind of behavior from super
villains, always missing the big picture, but what street perp is
going to take the time to carefully incapacitate Spider-Man when it's
just as likely that the reward for him is a "dead or alive" type of
arrangement? Anyway, the good news is that breaking out of jail is
remarkably easy:
The
problem (apart from the
abnormally loud death music) is
that you lose two hours to this little exercise, meaning that at most,
you can get a game over eleven times. Twelve, if you don't mind
getting caught in an explosion.
J. Jonah Jameson gives you a piece of his mind
Peter Parker's boss at the Daily Bugle, J. Jonah Jameson, is no fan of
masked heroes in general, and uses every available occasion to share
his feelings with Spider-Man. Thus, when he spots the webslinger
walking around New York after only recently setting up a bomb
somewhere, you can bet JJJ is pretty steamed. What's odd about this
particular instance is the way he expresses his frustration: He walks
up to Spider-Man and starts ranting at him, but of course the 16-bit
Sega Genesis didn't have the processing power needed for voice clips,
so the designers made due by giving his rantings a sound like someone
randomly plucking the cords of a washtub bass. Or at least that's
what I heard.
Sandman!
Like the new movie, the game features both Venom and the Sandman!
Venom stalks you at various points in the game, but the Sandman
chooses to lie in wait in a sandbox at the park. Once he springs his
trap, you'll be in for a monumental struggle that could last hours.
Unless you find a fire hydrant:
Let's hope the movie doesn't end this way.
Yes, Spider-Man has been in quite a few video games. This one was
almost good enough to make people remember to spell his name with a
hyphen. Still, I'm sure that kids today will forget all about the old
school. Not the super old school, where Spider-Man was just a blocky
red stick figure; the regular old school, hovering around the eight to
sixteen-bit area. That's the area where developers could still mess
around a little with the characters, as no one at Marvel was really
paying that close attention. These days, with spectacular. blockbuster
comic book movies like Spider-Man (and less spectacular movies like
Fantastic Four, Daredevil, Catwoman, etc), there's a lot more at stake
for comic book companies, and so they can't let developers get away
with neat little things like snapping pictures and buying your own web
fluid. Then again, I haven't played the newest Spider-Man game yet.
Maybe they've put in some more fun extras, like a minigame where you
negotiate your pay at the Daily Bugle, or a dating sim with Mary Jane
(his wife that is, not pot). Only time will tell.
Questions or Comments about this piece?
email Dr. Boogie
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