Movie: "The Final"
Year: 2010
Rated: R
Genre: Horror
Directed by: Joey Stewart
Writing credits: Jason Kabolati

Reviewer: Zomboid
Posted: 8/31/2010

Plot: A film about outcast kids getting revenge by punishing their high school bullies.

Review: Everyone over a certain age is familiar with bullying in high school, whether as a victim or a bully. For most of us, it started and ended as a comparatively small, insignificant part of our lives, and after high school, we moved on and began our real lives. Evidently, the creators of "The Final" weren't able to move on, and instead opted to punish their former bullies and the rest of us by making this piece of shit.

The basic plot is simple enough: a group of outcasts and misfits trick their tormentors into showing up to a party at a house in the woods, where they are then drugged and wake up to find themselves at the mercy of their victims, who are wearing costumes to hide their identities. Following that, the plan goes into full effect and you expect to be treated to an enjoyable revenge flick.

...Or not. The problems with this movie are many, but the ones that bugged me the most were the acting, the dialogue, and the characters. Revenge movies typically don't require a great plot, either, but it should at least make some kind of sense; this plot only makes sense if you're as ridiculously whiny, self-righteous and delusional as the antagonists. The bullying that the kids get is really pretty tame, yet we're supposed to sympathize with them because of that and their lives at home; yes, they're dealing with insurmountable problems at home, too! Problems like neglectful parents and silent breakfasts with the family! How blessed we are to all have Rockwellian home lives.

I didn't begin this movie expecting much in the way of character development, but pretty much every character is just a really poorly written stereotype. The bullies are over-the-top, yes, but the really annoying lines and acting comes from the kids getting revenge. If I was supposed to see them as pathetic losers who've seen too many movies, then the filmmakers did a stellar job. Unfortunately, there are some really shitty attempts at trying to garner sympathy for them, so I don't think that's the case. The lead kid (who you might recognize as a pretty insignificant curly-haired kid from the new Degrassi series) is the worst; his body movements, his costume, and his lines all make him come off as nothing but an angst-filled little brat with psychotic tendencies. He looks and acts like an extremely exaggerated member of Slipknot crossed with Hayden Christensen in any movie where he plays a whiny bitch (so, all of them, I think). The rest of the antagonists aren't much better, and they all spew the same convoluted shit about being different not being a bad thing. Really, they're all just awful and probably deserved a lot worse than bullying and parental neglect.

If you think that because it's a horror movie there might be some worthwhile kill/torture scenes, well, you're not entirely wrong, but it's still not worth it. There's a couple of decent effects, but it's all pretty standard, and there's even a blatant rip-off of Audition (it's not an homage if you copy pretty much the entire scene). Most of the movie consists of the antagonists telling their bullies how much they've hurt them, that they're not that different, and DAMN IT, DAD, WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!

Overall, it's the perfect movie if you shop at Hot Topic, you hate your parents, and you feel like no one understands you but that's okay, because one day you'll show 'em all, somehow. For the rest of you, it's probably just a movie-length reminder that High School sucked, that we were all pretty stupid and naive in one way or another, and that you really should have listened to this review .

Overall rating:
(Scored on a 0.5 - 5 pickles rating: 0.5 being the worst and 5 being the best)