Weeklies

Movie: "The Final"
Year: 2010
Rated: R
Genre: Horror
Directed by: Joey Stewart
Writing credits: Jason Kabolati

Reviewer: Zomboid
Posted: 8/31/2010

Plot: A film about outcast kids getting revenge by punishing their high school bullies.

Review: Everyone over a certain age is familiar with bullying in high school, whether as a victim or a bully. For most of us, it started and ended as a comparatively small, insignificant part of our lives, and after high school, we moved on and began our real lives. Evidently, the creators of "The Final" weren't able to move on, and instead opted to punish their former bullies and the rest of us by making this piece of shit.

The basic plot is simple enough: a group of outcasts and misfits trick their tormentors into showing up to a party at a house in the woods, where they are then drugged and wake up to find themselves at the mercy of their victims, who are wearing costumes to hide their identities. Following that, the plan goes into full effect and you expect to be treated to an enjoyable revenge flick.

...Or not. The problems with this movie are many, but the ones that bugged me the most were the acting, the dialogue, and the characters. Revenge movies typically don't require a great plot, either, but it should at least make some kind of sense; this plot only makes sense if you're as ridiculously whiny, self-righteous and delusional as the antagonists. The bullying that the kids get is really pretty tame, yet we're supposed to sympathize with them because of that and their lives at home; yes, they're dealing with insurmountable problems at home, too! Problems like neglectful parents and silent breakfasts with the family! How blessed we are to all have Rockwellian home lives.

I didn't begin this movie expecting much in the way of character development, but pretty much every character is just a really poorly written stereotype. The bullies are over-the-top, yes, but the really annoying lines and acting comes from the kids getting revenge. If I was supposed to see them as pathetic losers who've seen too many movies, then the filmmakers did a stellar job. Unfortunately, there are some really shitty attempts at trying to garner sympathy for them, so I don't think that's the case. The lead kid (who you might recognize as a pretty insignificant curly-haired kid from the new Degrassi series) is the worst; his body movements, his costume, and his lines all make him come off as nothing but an angst-filled little brat with psychotic tendencies. He looks and acts like an extremely exaggerated member of Slipknot crossed with Hayden Christensen in any movie where he plays a whiny bitch (so, all of them, I think). The rest of the antagonists aren't much better, and they all spew the same convoluted shit about being different not being a bad thing. Really, they're all just awful and probably deserved a lot worse than bullying and parental neglect.

If you think that because it's a horror movie there might be some worthwhile kill/torture scenes, well, you're not entirely wrong, but it's still not worth it. There's a couple of decent effects, but it's all pretty standard, and there's even a blatant rip-off of Audition (it's not an homage if you copy pretty much the entire scene). Most of the movie consists of the antagonists telling their bullies how much they've hurt them, that they're not that different, and DAMN IT, DAD, WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!

Overall, it's the perfect movie if you shop at Hot Topic, you hate your parents, and you feel like no one understands you but that's okay, because one day you'll show 'em all, somehow. For the rest of you, it's probably just a movie-length reminder that High School sucked, that we were all pretty stupid and naive in one way or another, and that you really should have listened to this review .

Overall rating: Half
(Scored on a 0.5 - 5 pickles rating: 0.5 being the worst and 5 being the best)

Reader Comments

Riot Control
Sep 1st, 2010, 06:39 PM
I usually find revenge movies entertaining, because they are expected to turn someone who had a tormented past into an ass-kicking badass who takes no prisoners in achieving his/her goal. By telling me that this flick has nothing more than a pack of pathetic, whiny little kids, you've definitely warned me to stay away from it.

It's good to know that the weeklies are back!
Still cold
Sep 1st, 2010, 06:52 PM
Well, that sucks. I had heard this movie was like "King of the Ants". I guess not.
Thanks for the review, Zomboid. I'll be sure to stay far away from this.
The Wolf
Sep 1st, 2010, 08:22 PM
It is my great pleasure to keep as many people away from this movie as possible. The long speeches, the overly dramatic movements...ugh. You can tell the writer and director just tried to enact some lame fantasy they had when they were being bullied...and after watching the entire Saw series.
Forum Virgin
Sep 2nd, 2010, 02:57 AM
Yah, the weeklies are back.
The Claw of Justice
Sep 2nd, 2010, 02:27 PM
The way the lighting reflected off that gas mask kid's jacket made me think he was covered in hair gel.

Which could be an interesting movie.
aint nobody
Sep 3rd, 2010, 02:43 AM
Dennis Farina. nice choice.
filthiest soap dish
Sep 3rd, 2010, 05:37 PM
Nice review Zomboid, I'll make sure to stay far away from this movie as much as possible. I can't lie though, I'm half tempted to take a peak...
Stuff
Sep 4th, 2010, 08:16 PM
I thought it was an interesting premise, horribly clumsy execution however.
pickled
Sep 4th, 2010, 08:26 PM
Nothing about this sounds good.
Member
Sep 26th, 2010, 06:41 PM
Don't listen to this guy. This is actually a pretty decent movie. And his critique's are pretty lame. The guy is a horror snob who is probably in his 40's.