Movie: "Crank"
Year: 2006
Rated: R
Genre: Action / Adventure
Directed by: Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor
Writing credits: Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor

Reviewer: -RoG-
Posted: 3/17/2008

Plot: Chev Chelios has just been injected with "The Beijing Cocktail" - a poison that will kill him if his heart rate drops. So, Chev does everything you could imagine to keep his adrenaline flowing while simultaneously trying to find the people who did this to him.

Review: The phrase "nonstop action" is tossed around a lot when people review action flicks, but in all honesty, you'd have a hard time finding one that lives up to those words as well as Crank does. After seeing the abysmal Transporter 2, I thought Jason Statham's career might take a dive, but he bounced right back with Crank and I honestly think it's his best film to date.

In Crank, he plays Chev Chelios, a professional assassin who's been injected with a poison that will kill him if he doesn't keep his adrenaline rushing at ridiculously high levels. As a result, Chev gets into some insane situations, most of which are downright hilarious. With the advice of his friend, Doc Miles (Dwight Yoakam), Chev finds ways to stay hyperactive throughout the film while working his way up the chain of command to get revenge on who did this to him. At the same time, he's trying to maintain a relationship with his girlfriend Eve (Amy Smart), whom he was planning on quitting the business for until he was recently poisoned.

It doesn't matter if it's chugging energy drinks, doing drugs, driving cars into a mall, getting in fights, messing with cops, murder, and yes... even screwing in public... Chev will do anything to keep his heart pumping. The result is one hell of an entertaining action film with a lot of laughs. I should also note that the camera work and editing in Crank is absolutely great for a film of this genre, and the soundtrack fits perfectly as well.

When I saw Crank in the theater, the entire crowd was in an uproar for almost the entire film, and yet somehow, it feels like this gem went unnoticed in 2006. Do yourself a favor and check it out if you haven't already, because it's a rare gem that finds the perfect balance of action and humor. Watching Chev defy the great odds against him as he pisses off his would-be killer, Verona, is one hell of a fun ride that you don't want to miss.

Overall rating: WholeWholeWholeWhole
(Scored on a 0.5 - 5 pickles rating: 0.5 being the worst and 5 being the best)

Reader Comments

frappez le cochon rouge
Mar 17th, 2008, 12:46 PM
This is pure kickass awesome condensed enough to be put on a film reel.
Mar 17th, 2008, 02:44 PM
Sounds like I need to put that on my "to watch" list.
Suicidal Chipmunk
Mar 17th, 2008, 05:10 PM
Forum Virgin
Mar 17th, 2008, 06:30 PM
Fun movie. I enjoyed his creative means of keeping his heart pumping.
Mar 17th, 2008, 06:44 PM
I loved the movie but I don't know why they're making a sequel. No that I wouldn't enjoy it but anyone who watched this movie would realize why it would be rediculous for a sequel to be made.
Crazed Techno-Biologist
Mar 17th, 2008, 07:14 PM
it sounds like a good movie, too bad he later ruined his career with awful dungeonsiege based film...
Jason's a Furry! Run!
Mar 17th, 2008, 07:57 PM
I love Jason Stathom, and I like non-stop action movies (on that note: all praise Shoot 'Em Up! Sorry, had to say it)... but for some reason, I never saw this. I have no idea why, it looks awesome, from the premise to what people have told me about it to that poster up there, with all the needles in the heart. It's on the list now, hopefully I can get to it soon.
taco loving zombie
Mar 18th, 2008, 01:10 AM
i love this movie "how much you injected?. the whole bottle. let me guess you have a massive boner?. yes" lol priceless
Flying Finn
Mar 18th, 2008, 05:10 AM
Ya, this is one of the greats. It went up in my hall of fame right next to Snatch and Lock, stock & two smoking barrels... This one you must see.
Can't touch this
Mar 18th, 2008, 02:51 PM
I fully agree that Transporter 2 blew big chunks all over my love for Statham. But I'll always have the first movie. There was no badass movie moment like skating around on oil on a pair of bicycle pedals kicking bitches in the face. Booyah. Plus, that BMW gave me wood. The Audi of the sequel gave me herpes.
Blah blah blah
Mar 18th, 2008, 07:51 PM
How wide was the release on this one. I don't think it even played in theatres around my neck of the woods. I hadn't even heard of it until it hit DVD. It is definetly a great addition to anyone's collection, but I would have loved to have seen it on the big screen.
Big Red Cat
Mar 18th, 2008, 08:25 PM
Would have been better if it had been less sloppy and juvenile.
Forum Virgin
Mar 18th, 2008, 10:15 PM
My main problem is that for once it was not the trailer that didn't give all the crazy thing he would do to keep his heart pumping but the movie reviews (now why did I get the idea of looking at reviews for a movie about name "crank" who is about a guy trying to get as much adrenaline into his body is beyond me)
I support Domo-Kun
Mar 18th, 2008, 11:08 PM
Great movie. But does it deserve a sequel? No. Sequeling (yes I made that word up)this movie is gonna be a huge mistake because, like Transporter, you really need to pass the high standards the original gave me. And we all know that Transporter 2 sucked horribly. So I'm still staying optimistic but I don't have high hopes for Crank 2.
frappez le cochon rouge
Mar 18th, 2008, 11:15 PM
I thought Transporter 2 was better.
Mar 19th, 2008, 01:01 AM
Crank is such an awesome movie. For some reason, most of the people I know were extremely hard on it. I guess trying to be a little different is unacceptable.
Feel the guilt
Mar 19th, 2008, 05:11 PM
I really got to watch this movie sometime, it sounds awesome. Who comes up with these ideas anyway?
Mar 19th, 2008, 09:06 PM
As long as they don't call it "Crank Dat: Sequel Boy"
Mar 19th, 2008, 10:39 PM
Sounds awesome!
Mar 21st, 2008, 07:55 PM
I loved this movie.
Our Last Hope
Mar 23rd, 2008, 03:39 PM
Me and my friends joked about this movie for awhile, running around yelling "CRANK!!!" and doing retarding stuff all over the place (dive rolls, fake fly kicks) but then one of my ... friends.... started actually hitting people and that joke died. Still, this movie looks kickass!
Kill The Rhythm!
Mar 31st, 2008, 01:49 AM
This movie is awesome!

I saw it a while back and i was amazed. First half an hour bored me but after that it was so fun

"Does it look like i have c*** written on my head?"
*word appears on his head"