Weeklies

Movie: "Funny Man"
Year: 1994
Rated: R
Genre: Horror
Directed by: Simon Sprackling
Writing credits: Simon Sprackling

Reviewer: Protoclown
Posted: 9/22/2008

Plot: Christopher Lee bets his mansion in a poker game and loses it; random moronic people get killed by a maniacal jester inside it for no reason.

Review: Back before Tower Records went to shit and closed all but a couple of their stores, my friends and I used to go in there fairly regularly and rent all kinds of crazy movies that you just couldn't find in other video stores. For weeks I had noticed "Funny Man", with a picture of a demonic, wicked looking jester on the cover with the tagline "Half Jester, Half Demon!" (this was back in the days of VHS, the DVD box shown here is different), and I thought "How could you possibly go wrong with this?" Oh, if only I knew.

After several weeks, I finally convinced my friends that we had to rent this, and they relented, having found nothing else they deemed worth watching. I still think in some ways they've never forgiven me for this.

Upon popping the movie into my friend's VCR, we realized that the movie was British, which I thought was great, because I love British comedies, and given that this had all the appearances of a horror-comedy, I thought we'd be in for a great ride. Oh, how wrong I was. With Christopher Lee appearing in the very beginning of the film (and you know it's a bad sign when the guy who gets top billing on the cover is only in the movie for less than five minutes), you might think that'd be a sure sign of the quality to come, until you remember that Mr. Lee has been in some truly awful movies (and a man who's been in as many movies as him is bound to).

The first problem was that most of the dialog, particularly from Funny Man himself was almost impossible to decipher to my American ears. His thick accent along with his mumbly way of speaking left me clueless as to what he was saying a good 75% of the time (and remember, as this was VHS we didn't have a subtitles option). I watch a lot of British stuff, I'm quite fond of British stuff, and normally I have no problem understanding it. Not the case here.

This twisted Jester ran around the house and killed people in "ironic" ways befitting their personalities, for whatever reason--I can't even remember why. And he kept making these snarky Freddy Kruegeresque quips directly to the camera, but they always fell completely flat because they were either a) impossible for me to understand or b) painfully unfunny. And yet my friends and I watched the whole thing, in stunned and disappointed silence. This isn't even one of those bad horror movies we could make fun of while watching. It was just absolutely painful. This film came across like a talentless college student's project, only he couldn't summon up any decent ideas or anyone who could actually act (outside of Mr. Lee).

I will admit that it's been about 10 years since I've seen this, so a lot of the details are blissfully forgotten. It's possible that I would judge this film differently now that I'm older, but what little I do remember about it assures me that I will never subject myself to this vile piece of crap again. To any British fans of this movie, I'm sorry; normally I enjoy stuff from across the pond, but this was just terrible. My friends still to this day give me shit about it.

Overall rating: Half
(Scored on a 0.5 - 5 pickles rating: 0.5 being the worst and 5 being the best)

Reader Comments

Scruffy drunken Brit
Sep 22nd, 2008, 06:08 AM
I've never heard of this but I'm now compelled beyond rational thought to hunt it down and watch it... Argh!
Proto, check out Bloodbath at the House of Death if you haven't already. Vincent Price and the almighty Kenny Everett VS The Amityville and about a million Hammer Horror movies.
Big Red Cat
Sep 22nd, 2008, 06:18 AM
Another film of the same ilk: Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter.

Vampires are killing all the lesbians in Ottawa, and only the Son of God, with the help of a Mexican wrestling superstar, can save them.

Sounds great, huh? Impossible to fuck up a formula this promising, right? But no. No, no, NO. Everything bad in the world was born with this movie.
Using Ninjitsu of Fushin
Sep 22nd, 2008, 06:49 AM
I saw this film on a British satellite channel called zone horror a few weeks ago. what a stinker, I sat through about half an hour before I turned it off. I'm normally a fan of 'bad' horror movies but this one was a little to bad for me to take.
Scruffy drunken Brit
Sep 22nd, 2008, 07:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roggs View Post
Another film of the same ilk: Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter.

Vampires are killing all the lesbians in Ottawa, and only the Son of God, with the help of a Mexican wrestling superstar, can save them.

Sounds great, huh? Impossible to fuck up a formula this promising, right? But no. No, no, NO. Everything bad in the world was born with this movie.
I've read this post three times and I'm just finding it hard to believe that such an awesome premise would be a bad movie.
The Goddamned Batman
Sep 22nd, 2008, 02:17 PM
I actually enjoyed Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. For me it was the right kind of bad.
Member
Sep 22nd, 2008, 04:03 PM
Vampire Hunter has the best theme song! I watched the movie with some friends--I got a big kick out of it, my friends thought it was too bad even to mock. Each to their own!
Member
Sep 23rd, 2008, 06:05 AM
I couldn't even finish Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. Absolutely terrible, and I love so bad it's good fare usually.
pickled
Sep 24th, 2008, 05:56 PM
Even the dvd cover screams suck.
Forum Virgin
Sep 24th, 2008, 07:48 PM
ROGGs
i thougth i was the only one who actually saw and enjoyed jesus christ vampire hunter ;P you should definetly check out hairy knuckles same guy with the same mexican wrestler
Member
Sep 25th, 2008, 04:48 AM
I remember reading about this in a Fangoria article back in the 90s. I remember the article being about how the guys who made this were first in a terrible punk band that got booed off the stage everywhere they played. The worst part was Fangoria trying to build this movie up like its a great indie horror classic just waiting for an audience. Never saw it and this is the second and last time in my life I will waste time thinking about it! Also, Fangoria was fucking classic in the 80s even up to the early 90s but FUCK THAT MAGAZINE seriously...
Scary guy
Sep 26th, 2008, 09:56 PM
Why can't the British learn English?
Clap if you love Dynamo
Sep 27th, 2008, 09:54 AM
You should review Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter next Proto. Now I MUST know about it!
Forum Virgin
Sep 28th, 2008, 09:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roggs
Another film of the same ilk: Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter.

Vampires are killing all the lesbians in Ottawa, and only the Son of God, with the help of a Mexican wrestling superstar, can save them.

Sounds great, huh? Impossible to fuck up a formula this promising, right? But no. No, no, NO. Everything bad in the world was born with this movie.
THATS A LIE!! JCVH was awesome.