Weeklies

Movie: "Alligator"
Year: 1980
Rated: R
Genre: Horror
Directed by: Lewis Teague
Writing credits: John Sayles, Frank Ray Perilli

Reviewer: -RoG-
Posted: 9/1/2009

Plot: Alligator gets flushed. Alligator survives and ingests experimental drug. Alligator grows to gargantuan proportions and wreaks havoc on everybody. Hooray!

Review: Forget about Lake Placid, Rogue and Primeval... if you want to see a movie about a killer alligator done right, then look no further than the classic 1980 horror flick simply entitled "Alligator".

It all starts out with a teenage girl who purchases a baby alligator while vacationing in Florida. When she brings it back home to Chicago, her dad flushes it down the toilet because he hates animals and clearly hates FUN too.

Of course, this isn't the end of the story for the baby alligator, it's just the beginning. It survives the dreaded flush and ends up living in the sewers of Chicago. Then it starts feeding on the carcasses of some animal corpses that were discarded in the sewer. This being a horror movie, the dead animals were naturally being tested on with an experimental growth hormone. You see where I'm going with this? Of course you do. So now the alligator has grown to a whopping 36-feet long and begins terrorizing the citizens of Chicago.

Did I mention the girl actually named the alligator Ramón? Because she does, and that's a fucking awesome name for an alligator and you know it.

If you enjoyed the comedy "The Wedding Crashers", just wait until you see what happens when Ramón crashes an ultra-fancy wedding full of rich people! It's funnier than anything you'll see in the aforementioned comedy film, I assure you.

What's particularly nice about the flick for me is that I grew up in New York and heard many versions of the old urban legend about giant killer alligators living in the city sewers (you can learn all about that here). This movie really plays into those fears people had about New York's sewers at the time (even though it takes place in Chicago) and provides many laughs as well. As far as alligator-based horror films go, this one will forever be my favorite and I'm sure many of you will feel the same if you watch it. Keep in mind, this film was written by John Sayles, who also wrote one of my other favorite killer animal movies, "Piranha".

Now I know it's hard to sell some people on "killer creature" flicks since so many of them are godawful and not entertaining in the slightest, so I've taken the liberty of uploading something that should help convince you to get a copy of it. If the following scene doesn't sell you on the movie, nothing will:

Oh Ramón... you truly can do no wrong.

Overall rating: WholeWholeWholeWhole
(Scored on a 0.5 - 5 pickles rating: 0.5 being the worst and 5 being the best)

Reader Comments

Forum Virgin
Sep 1st, 2009, 07:17 AM
My name is Ramon. Based on that alone I must see this movie. There aren't enough Ramons in the world and all of us, the proud few, must stand together.

Unless they liked Micheal Bay's Transformers. Then they can go fuck themselves.
Fucking Finland
Sep 1st, 2009, 07:54 AM
This movie is so awesome.
Forum Virgin
Sep 1st, 2009, 09:44 AM
Crazy you should link that bit, because that is the ONLY scene I have ever witnessed from that movie. I think my brother made me watch it several times when I was younger. Viva El Ramone!
Jason's a Furry! Run!
Sep 1st, 2009, 02:11 PM
A giant killer Alligator movie that's better than Rogue? I'm skeptical, but curious (OK, that movie was a giant Crocodile, but same general idea). I keep seeing this on the shelves at the video store, but I could never tell if it was worth it or if it would just be another crapfest. I'll have to give it a go next time I'm in the store.
the axe and the smasher
Sep 1st, 2009, 02:24 PM
I remember watching this one Saturday afternoon as a kid (possibly during one of those Halloween marathons on local tv).
I am Johnny Luchador
Sep 1st, 2009, 06:11 PM
I watched this movie when I was like 3 years old. My mom wanted to kill my dad for letting me watch it cause for about 6 months I was terrified to go into the hallway at night because I thought there were alligators out there and I'd piss myself before trying to cross the hall to the bathroom. And I'd piss myself a lot due to the terror of it. Thanks for the memories.
Last of the Time Lords
Sep 1st, 2009, 08:57 PM
Now I must see if my local video store carries this one. Cheesy 80s horror films are the best horror films, and how can you go wrong when giant alligators who eat children are involved?
"FUCK HEAD!"
Sep 2nd, 2009, 02:47 AM
Quote:
Did I mention the girl actually named the alligator Ramón? Because she does, and that's a fucking awesome name for an alligator and you know it.
hell....yes
King of the Monsters
Sep 2nd, 2009, 03:23 AM
hell yeah. Love this movie, so much that I own it. Just don't watch the sequel, whatever you do.
Member
Sep 2nd, 2009, 04:24 AM
That is the only scene I ever remember seeing from that movie as a child. After that, I was done.
hanging out
Sep 2nd, 2009, 03:07 PM
obviously made before the rule that restricted deaths in horror movies to characters over 18
Riot Control
Sep 2nd, 2009, 11:19 PM
Quote:
stonewar: obviously made before the rule that restricted deaths in horror movies to characters over 18
I didn't know that there was such a restriction in cinema. It doesn't surprise me though...
Mrs. Mighty Tyrant
Sep 3rd, 2009, 12:30 AM
I wish I had an alligator named Ramon.
Strange blob from beyond
Sep 3rd, 2009, 07:14 PM
thats me looking for a copy!
aint nobody
Sep 4th, 2009, 06:25 PM
a classic
pickled
Sep 7th, 2009, 07:39 AM
I remember watching this when I was little. It's the best!