Artist: "Twisted Sister"
Album: "A Twisted Christmas"
Genre: Rock
Label: Razor & Tie

Reviewer: Protoclown
Posted: 12/15/2008

Review: Let me make one thing very clear: I am not a fan of Twisted Sister. While I appreciate the 80s cheesiness of songs like "We're Not Gonna Take It" and "I Wanna Rock", I really know nothing about them outside those two songs, nor do I have any real interest in exploring their music any further than that. But when I heard that they had recently recorded a Christmas album, I was amused enough to at least have a listen to that. I figured it would be good for a few laughs if nothing else.

Unfortunately, this is far from the case. They try to make things funny early on by initially presenting a very traditional, mellow version of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas", which stalls out about a minute into the song as somebody asks Dee Snider why they're not rocking, after which they "rock out" into a slightly less mellow version of the song. It'd be more effective if they were a death metal band and Dee Snider growled his vocals in a ridiculously deep, guttural voice, because Twisted Sister's "hard" version of the song isn't really much wilder than any other version you might hear on the radio.

For the most part they play the normal, traditional versions of classic Christmas songs like "White Christmas", "Silver Bells", and "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus". They only really noticably deviate on the song "Heavy Metal Christmas (The Twelve Days of Christmas)", in which their true love gave them things like an Ozzy tattoo, two pairs of spandex pants, five skull earrings, and eleven black mascaras. There's really nothing here that you couldn't hear on a Christian rock station, to be honest, and there aren't many laughs to be had here at all after the silly novelty of a Twisted Sister Christmas album wears off about two minutes into the album.

Pretty much all Christmas music is shite, so I guess if you're going to be stuck listening to it, you may as well go with the Twisted Sister versions, since they rock slightly harder than most of the others. But if you hate Christmas music as most of us with ears do, there's really nothing here that's going to interest or please you.

Overall rating:
(Scored on a 0.5 - 5 pickles rating: 0.5 being the worst and 5 being the best)