Weeklies

Artist: "White Zombie"
Album: "Astro Creep: 2000"
Genre: Metal
Label: Geffen Records

Reviewer: -RoG-
Posted: 9/22/2009

Review:

Dear Rob Zombie,

Remember when you used to work with this band back in the day instead of putting out remakes of one of the most beloved modern horror movies in which you find new ways to somehow shoehorn your wife into a ridiculous scene involving Michael Myers and a white horse?

Remember when you put out this classic album featuring songs about murder, the undead and more which featured clips from a variety of horror and cult movies?

Remember how your songs sounded like a psycho circus from hell mixed with all the metal and techno driven beats one could ask for which became all the more evident when you went on tour with the band?

Remember when your crazy song titles such as "Grease Paint and Monkey Brains" and "El Phantasmo and the Chicken-Run Blast-O-Rama" were only rivaled by the artistic creativity shown in your music videos?

Do you remember it all? Good, because I remember those days too. So what say you put down the film camera and pick up the microphone. Are we in agreement? Great. I'm glad we had this talk.

Sincerely,

-RoG-

Overall rating: WholeWholeWholeHalf
(Scored on a 0.5 - 5 pickles rating: 0.5 being the worst and 5 being the best)

Reader Comments

Scruffy drunken Brit
Sep 22nd, 2009, 05:49 AM
Please to be putting my name on that missive as I agree with every fucking sentiment.
Forum Virgin
Sep 22nd, 2009, 06:58 AM
...I thought it was a pretty good movie.
Member
Sep 22nd, 2009, 07:14 AM
The intro to the song I Zombie is from a movie called Awakening of The Beast, by the 60s psychedelic horror pioneer Coffin Joe from Brazil. He was like the original Freddy Kruger, but Zombie based alot of his imagery off ol Coffin Joe, check him out if you've never heard of him. At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul is a classic horror film, perfect for Halloween. I should make my own fucking website.
It's about time
Sep 22nd, 2009, 11:27 AM
puppetgeneral39: I'll try to explain why I and most of the others that don't like the movie have such a problem with it. Michael Myers is supposed to be scary. He's supposed to be the bogeyman. He's supposed to be a monster! No matter how fast you run, or where you hide, he's always right behind you. Not just some messed up kid with a mother complex who happened to grow up and escape the loony bin. The new movie didn't seem to even attempt to be scary, just gross.

I think it mostly comes down to whether you prefer monster movies (zombie Jason, bogeyman Michael Myers), or real killers (crazy old coot Jason who takes prisoners, messed up kid in adult's body Michael Myers).

Hope that helps a little.
the axe and the smasher
Sep 22nd, 2009, 11:30 AM
Yeah, add my name to the list Rog.

Is it just me, or was his music even better in the White Zombie days than his solo stuff?
Forum Virgin
Sep 22nd, 2009, 01:23 PM
Dextire:

Thank you for your input. I have to admit here and now that I'm not a Halloween fan. The only film of the series I've seen is like a total of 5 minutes from H2O. I think that's why I like these remakes. I have nothing to compare them too except popcorn pushing stinkers. To me, Zombie's Mike Myers is completely new and different with no fanfare or mythos surrounding him. Just alot of talk. Again, that's just me.

I understand alot better now why the original fans don't like the new films. I can see what you mean about Myers being a "boogeyman". Someone who's past is mentioned only in passing becuase, honestly, nobody knows much about it or cares. A monster that kills for no reason other then you exist and he hates you for it. I think Zombie just wanted to give us his explanation of Myers warped mind. A fan's take and study of a famous figure. And of course, to get his wife some more work.

And I liked that white horse damn it! :P
is hopped up on goofballs
Sep 22nd, 2009, 01:51 PM
Exactly, it's pretty much just bad fanfic, devoid of all of the innovation and heart that made the first two films good.

This album, however, kicks boatloads of ass.
With More Yes Than Ever
Sep 22nd, 2009, 02:40 PM
Loved this album, along with the majority of White Zombie's albums.
The face of trapped wind.
Sep 22nd, 2009, 03:08 PM
I never owned any White Zombie but what I heard on the radio and on soundtracks was good times. I always thought Hellbilly Deluxe was pretty good. The Sinister Urge is where I walked away though. That album was dreck.
Forum Virgin
Sep 22nd, 2009, 06:44 PM
I totally agree with you, Rob Zombie needs to quit film making and go back to making good music. I thought House of 1000 Corpses was absolutely awful, and never saw Devils Rejects, and only parts of the Halloween remake (which, even though I bought it for a dollar at a yard sale, I felt ripped off). I don't want to finish it though, it was awful from what I saw.
The Claw of Justice
Sep 22nd, 2009, 08:32 PM
Can we add an adendum to that letter?
"P.S. Jason Voorhees is the one with the Oedipus Complex. Not Michael Myers. Thank you."

That said, this and La Sexorcisto are a pair of perfect albums. Not a bad or boring song on either one.
"FUCK HEAD!"
Sep 22nd, 2009, 10:26 PM
i dont know what happend he did so well with house of 1000 corpses and the devils rejects but halloween sucked harder than a french whore i agree 100% that he should go back to music
Member
Sep 23rd, 2009, 01:18 AM
Um, you guys HAVE heard Educated Horses right?
Strange blob from beyond
Sep 23rd, 2009, 09:51 AM
add my name to the list as well! I saw white zombie play at Donnington in the UK back in the day and they where fucking awesome live
I am Johnny Luchador
Sep 23rd, 2009, 11:06 AM
even though he's made a bunch of remakes, you have to agree that Astro Creep 2000 is a fantastic album. I mean, I still throw it in every now and then. Plus White Zombie use to put on one hell of a show.
LOVES the tubal ligation!
Sep 23rd, 2009, 01:47 PM


Is all I gatta say...
pickled
Sep 24th, 2009, 03:58 AM
I agree with all of it.
Forum Virgin
Sep 24th, 2009, 08:25 PM
Even though he fell on his face with Halloween 1 & 2 and House of a Thousand Corpses was good up until that last 15 minutes when the whole movie decided to do a Thelma and Louise drive off a cliff. Devil's Rejects was an extremely underrated film, and I still want to see She-Wolf Women of the SS just to see Nicholas Cage as Fu Man Chu.. because the ridiculousness of putting him in there is on par with the greatest idea ever.
Member
Sep 24th, 2009, 11:33 PM
I don't think Rob is a bad director by any means. He is quite fantastic really. The problem is when someone asked him to do a halloween remake he made a momentary slip of judgment and said "yes" instead of kicking the living shit out of whoever was dumb enough to suggest such a stupid idea. The remakes are very good horror films in their own right IF you pretend michael myers wasn't shoe-horned into them. It is IMPOSSIBLE to properly remake a film once it has been deemed a classic. And yet all the big horror icons (Jason, Myers, Leatherface, and Soon to be Freddy and Chucky) have been remade.

I wanna see Mr. Zombie do some more horror, just NO MORE REMAKES! Astro Creep is indeed a good album btw.
Pickled Patriarch
Sep 25th, 2009, 12:54 AM
Allow me to quote Rob Zombie from years ago:

Quote:
"I feel it's the worst thing any filmmaker can do (remakes). I actually got a call from my agent and they asked me if I wanted to be involved with the remake of Chain Saw. I said no fucking way! Those movies are perfect - you're only going to make yourself look like an asshole by remaking them. Go remake something that's a piece of shit and make it good. Like with my movie (House of 1000 Corpses) I have elements of Chain Saw in it because I love that movie so much, but I wouldn't dare want to "remake" it. It's like a band trying to be another band. You can sound like The Beatles, but you can't be The Beatles."
Member
Sep 26th, 2009, 10:53 PM
Well either he sold out then or it could be inferred from that quote that he thinks the halloween films were "pieces of shit." He needs his head examined in the case of the latter.
Forum Virgin
Sep 27th, 2009, 09:33 PM
Actually from what I heard he was approached and was asked, but he turned it down. Then they went to some moron A and asked him to remake and after a treatment Zombie got a hold of it and said F* this I will at least try to be truthful to the first one. After that one was made he said Ok for part 2 now I will take this in a whole new direction than to the hospital in the same night. Do I agree with any remakes no... but at least he took it from someone who wanted to make Michael Myers into a fast athletic killer who will probably have worn a different mask. And he has stated if they want part 3... go F* themselves, and tried to close up all loose ends in part 2 so no one can make part 3. Doesn't mean they aren't going to try (I heard that part 3 is already signed up to be in 3-D and not involving Zombie)
An Arizona Horror Company
Sep 27th, 2009, 11:40 PM
Well done, sir! Couldn't agree with you more.