"SOMEBODY HELP ME! THIS GUITAR IS TRYING TO KILL ME!"
That's what you get when you play my specially designed guitars. I've modified the electronics in these guitars to sense crappy music. When crappy music is detected, the guitar initiates the defense system and destroys whoever is playing it at the time. Quite ingenious, eh? These babies are gonna sell like hot cakes!

A bunch of angry Indians were released on this band for no apparent reason other than to make them let out some blood. Look, you can see the blood splatters everywhere. What's even more pathetic is the drummer... in a desperate attempt to save his life, he formed a "Tee Pee" with his drumsticks so he could act like he was an Indian too. He was soon destroyed for this pathetic display of cowardice.

Here is the view of a typical intoxicated fan at a music show.
Find yourself one of these people and I guarantee you, you can take their wallet.
Hell, they might even give you the keys to their car if you buy 'em a few more drinks! Maybe get a deed to some nice property even. Oh, the possibilities...

A local show was interrupted when this genious got his hand stuck in his bandmate's saxophone. This wasn't the first time though... the bass player in the background is just thinking to himself, "Jesus... not again. Why the hell does he have to do this every damned show!?" Quite simple kid: The guy is an idiot.

"Hi, I'm 10 years old, I have a guitar and I'm in a band with a bunch of other 10 year olds. Like my bandmates, we're hoping that we can ride the success of groups like 'Hanson' (heroes of ours) so that we can get girls."
No matter how hard you try to look cool kid, it's just not working. Sorry.

Ahh, young love. Look at the joy and excitement on the trombone player's face.
He just can't wait for his lover to lick him up and down!

Onto the next page of hate!