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This lad didn't know what the hell he was doing at the show. So, he started yelling to the guitarist things like: "Why the hell am I wearing a ski hat!? It's 500 degrees in here! I must be a moron!" The guitarist replied by saying, "I agree, you are a moron! Even worse, I'm a moron for playing in this stupid band and trying to have the same haircut as the singer from the Offspring! Not that he originated it, but hey, they're millionaires, and that's all us punks really want! We want money! We don't admit it at all, we deny that we're all materialistic bastards, but it's true: WE WANT CASHOLA!" I was quite impressed at this guitarists ability to say all this while still concentrating on his music...but hey, it *IS* punk music after all; I could do the dishes and play guitar simultaneously in a punk band. Also, does somebody want to explain to me the guys attire: A NOFX HAT AND A PANTERA SHIRT?????????? I also think the guy standing behind him is being a "bad boy". Eugh!


This is a guy from the band Ensign. Trying to impress the crowd, this young man decided to perform one of the generic "I'm cool so I'll jump with my guitar in my hands and hope I don't break my neck" moves. Unfortunately, he did not look where he was jumping and he landed directly into one of the giant PA speakers. And in an instant he was fried by the electricity and the building was filled with the scent of "one big fat barbecued loser".


This band is MxPx. They like to frolic in the trees with their organically grown instruments. Rumor has it, they weren't ever "born", they just grew out of the earth. With this in mind, WHO WANTS SOME SALAD???


This guy took me too seriously when I asked "WHO WANTS SOME SALAD???". He hid in their car and instantly starting dining on the poor bastard! Apparently, this guy was a starving vegan and when he heard me say that this band was made of Salad, he instantly jumped on the chance for nourishment. It's a sad world isn't it?


Any guesses as to whom this rockin guy is? It's Richard Dean Anderson, better known as MacGyver, crankin' out the tunes! His music changed a generation, and many of us know by listening to his powerful messages that:

GUNS ARE BAD.
DUCT TAPE IS GOOD.
WE SHOULDN'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT OUR TRUSTY POCKET-KNIFE.
WE NEED TO WATCH OUT FOR THAT BAD GUY, MURDOCK!
And of course:
MaC ISN'T "NAILED TO THE X"



Here we have a group of Straight-Edgers standing proudly side by side! "Wait a minute! Those aren't sXe people! Those are a bunch of fraternity losers!" CONGRATS! NOW YOU'RE STARTING TO GET IT! Notice the alcohol in the hand of one of their hands! Also, notice on one of the shirts that it says "EDGE" at the bottom of it, and although the top is covered up, I'm sure we know what is says: STRAIGHT-EDGE! Woo Hoo! So we now have proof that sXe people are not only liars who don't practice what they preach, but they really are just fraternity losers.



Onto the next page of hate!