Features

Captain Robo · #1

(DISCLAIMER: ANY REFERENCES TO A "MOM" ARE HYPOTHETICAL"

YOUR MOM IS SO FAT...

YOUR MOM IS SO FAT SHE SAT ON A BRIDGE AND IT FELL

YOUR MOM IS SUCH A LESBIAN YOU HAVE TWO MOMS (LOL)

YOUR MOM IS SO FAT SHE DIED OF A HEART ATTACK

YOUR MOM IS SO FAT WHEN SHE STEPPED ON A SCALE IT SAID "EEEE"

YOUR MOM IS SO FAT SHE WENT TO RICHARD SIMMONS AND HE HAD A HEART ATTACK.

kon · #2

SHUT UP ROBO

GOD, QUIT GAYING UP THESE THREADS

Captain Robo · #3

kon · #4

Hey look I have some jokes:

What's brown and sticky? A stick

What does a 90 year old woman taste like? Depends

What did the cow say to the masked robber? Moo

How did they find out Princess Di had dandruff? THEY FOUND HER HEAD & SHOULDERS IN THE DASH

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "It's getting kind of hot in here and the other muffin says "OH MY GOD A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks him, "Excuse me. Do you have problems with shit sticking to you fur?", and the rabbit replies, "No sir. I do not.", so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

What do you call a nervous cow? A milk shake

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey horse, why the long dick"?

Have you ever had an australian kiss? Its like a french kiss, but down under, if i am not mistaken

Did anyone hear about the new color of paint? It's called "Blonde". It's cheap, not too bright and spreads easily.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To have sex with the pidgeon.

Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac? He stayed awake all night wondering if there really was a dog.

What did the farmer name his very clever pig? Cunningham.

Minnie Mouse screamed at her analyst: "I didn't say Mickey was crazy! I said he was fucking Goofy!"

There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count right...and those who can't!

Two mushrooms walk into a bar. Bartender says, we don't serve mushrooms in here, are you two mushrooms? Mushrooms say, no we're just two fun guys!

A leprauchan walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants, and the bartender says "doesn't that hurt?" and the leprauchan replies: "Aye, its drivin' me nuts!"

What do do blondes and the bermuda triangle have in common? They both swallow alot of sea men

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? Half way

What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they're both stuck up cunts.

Captain Robo · #5

NEW HAVEN, Conn. (AP) - A bomb exploded in an empty classroom at the Yale University law school Wednesday, sending debris flying and students scrambling for safety. No injuries were reported and the damage was minor.

Ninjavenom · #6

Fuck you Kon, those jokes are funny.

Schimid · #7

A tornado ripped through Last Stand Cemetary last Sunday. Thousands died. :/

Captain Robo · #8

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain Robo

The Retro Kat · #9

What's gay and has spots all over?

ROBO's ass!

Captain Robo · #10

Who makes shittier jokes than I do?

RETRO KAT :D

Johannas · #11

OMG i think my heads gonna explode from all these bad jokes......

DTH
JOHANNAS

Zosimus · #12

How about some funny ones?
One of my female friends sent me this serie:

He said.......She said!

He said . . . I don't now why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to
put in it.

She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

**********************
He said . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board
while I sit on the sofa and fart!

**********************
He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I
gave you?

She said . . .Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

************************
He said . . . Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?

She said . . . I would but you're never there.

********* ***************
On a wall in a ladies room . . . "My husband follows me everywhere"

Written just below it . . . " I do not"

************************
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it
take
to do the dishes?

A. Both of them.

***************************
Q. Why did the man cross the road?

A. He heard the chicken was a slut.

***************************
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?

A. They don't have time

***************************
Q. What do men and sperm have in common?

A. They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human
being.

*****************************
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?

A. He buys two cases of beer.

******************************
Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?

A. The bonds mature.

********************************
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?

A. So men can remember them.

********************************
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

A. We don't know; it has never happened.

********************************
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and
good-looking?

A. They already have boyfriends.

*********************************
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every
night?

A. A widow.

***********************************
Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?

A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

**************************************
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in
common?

A. They're married.

************************************
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"

God says: "So you would love her."
" But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"

God says: "So she would love you."

Esuohlim · #13

WHY ISN'T RAY CHARLES ALLOWED TO DRIVE?

HE'S BLACK.

Captain Robo · #14

Quote:

One of my female friends sent me this serie

YOU MEAN YOUR LESBIAN MAN-HATING FEMALE FRIEND?

Zosimus · #15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain Robo

Quote:

One of my female friends sent me this serie

YOU MEAN YOUR LESBIAN MAN-HATING FEMALE FRIEND?

No. She is one of my man-LOVING female friends. She just has a certain appreciation for gender provoking jokes.
I gave her a few too, like this one:

1. How do you make a womans brain look like a pea?
- Blow it up and paint it green.

2. How are women like buses?
- There will always come another one.

3. How are women like toilets?
- Either they are occupied or they are full of shit.