ARE YOU READY FOR A MIR-A-CULL-UH?
So I saw
this televangelist on TV this morning, and he was hawking "miracle water". Apparently a "pastor" in Russia (are there a lot of "pastors" there?) was guided by God to a miracle spring during the Chernobyl disaster, and when his flock drank the water, God protected them from the radiation. He even made sure they had plenty of canned goods. Of course, God gave everyone else cancer, because they were too dumb to drink from the spring.
You could get a ketchup-sized packet of this miracle water FOR FREE by signing up with the ministry. They keep saying it's free, although I've read elsewhere that the water only works if you follow detailed instructions, which of course include sending the guy money.
Then they went on and on about all the people that this water cured. One woman who was supposedly a terminal cancer patient was touched by the televangelist and capered around the church to show that she was HEALED-uh. Another woman said that she'd been in a car accident, had back pain and screws in her ankle, and after using the water it was "all gone!". What was gone? The screws?
Another guy said he drank the water and suddenly had a new house, new car and new wife. Maybe the water gave him amnesia.
I just hope for everyone's sake that this is harmless tapwater from somewhere in the US and not real Chernobyl water.
I hate televangelists.
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