Your weirdest dreams?

[Kitsa]

I dreamed that I was finishing lunch in a house I'd lived in when I was a teenager,and my mother inexplicably began heating up a giant sandwich for herself. It was made of two plate-size pancakes and the middle part was sausage, I think. I was sitting there reading a list of requirements for submitting a fetish porn video; for some reason it was on the back of a pack of Hallmark thank-you cards. It was stuff like, "NO SICK SHIT, NOTHING TAPED BY YOUR MOM OR DAD" and "NO INTESTINAL PARASITES".

My mom asked, "Are you going to walk home?"

I looked up at a black and white TV screen that had security-cam footage of the front yard, and there were wolves out there. I said, "I'll wait till the wolves go."

[Zhukov]